Drop of Grace

A Humble Abode

2010-11-20T18:32:00.006-05:00

Here are some pictures of our very first home. I took these right after we moved in this past June, so things are a little different now. This home is such a blessing from God! So many people had a part in helping us buy it, pack, move, paint it, fix the yard up, etc. etc. This list is LONG of all those who so graciously helped the Hardage's purchase and move into our home. I love, love, love this house and I'm reminded all the time how blessed we are to have it. THANK YOU TO ALL who helped and thanks most of all to our Heavenly Father. He is good!

Entry way

James and Judson's room

Kid's Bathroom

Dori's *bright* room. :D

Toys

More toys in the "toy area."

Den

Music/reading room

Kitchen

Music room

Some Art, Some Life, Some Spring

2010-03-23T21:49:00.012-04:00

It seems like winter has dragged on, but I dare not complain as I was once quite accustomed to snow falling at times through April. That said, it seems like winter has dragged on around here! Thankfully, though, the sun is gradually making its appearance with more frequency than usual and the crocuses are popping up along with other random yellow flowers. The kids are giddy watching it all happen and I confess I am too!

We all love spring around here...what it represents, what it feels like, what it smells like. Since we spend most days at home, I try to bring bits of spring time decoration into our home--all with the help of some very creative little artists that share my last name. :)

I found these cute, old egg cups at the Salvation Army a few months ago. I just couldn't pass them up! When we dye our eggs before Easter maybe we will display them in these cute cups. You can't really tell from the photo but there is a man, woman, chicken, and some unknown design painted on them.

I try to display a good book on the kitchen counter that sort of represents whatever season we are in or that goes along with something we are doing in school. This book is another gem I recovered at the Salvation Army. "The Springs of Joy" by Tasha Tudor. So far, I have found 5 Tasha Tudor books at various thrift shops both here in MS and in RI. I can't even fathom getting rid of a Tasha Tudor picture book. Horrors. When Micah saw this book displayed he said, "Boy...I guess you really like Tasha Tudor, huh Mom?" LOL. Yes, son...I do. Her artwork is so lovely to look at and I love the innocence and simplicity of the children in all of her books. This is a book of poems.

James created this "fort" today. He told me the bad guys were in jail. He also drew the picture below. I LOVE this artwork, people. In case you didn't know...this is a family portrait. There are a few too many represented...not sure what kind of message James is sending me. He told me I am the one with the "sticking up kind of hair" and Judson is the tiniest round subject with only one eye. I find this so comical.

My sweet, dear, talented friend Claudia Windham painted this and gave it to me a while ago. I just wanted to take a moment to showcase it in my blog because I love it so and so love her. I love the colors, the subject matter, and most of all the person who painted it. She's pretty awesome!

A recent crafting adventure. Beads and glue. You can make everything better with some beads and some glue.

James has really been into forts lately. Everything turns into a fort. I mean everything. I found the toilet paper piled up in the bathroom strangely one day last week. Yep, it was a James fort. Today he made a fort out of three footstools. Yesterday the kitchen chairs were missing--yep..in the den as a fort. A few days ago I discovered James and Judson in a stuffed animal fort behind the couch. I'm just glad he's moved on from "booby traps." That stage did some damage!

This is what happens when James gets into his playmobil. I mean really gets into it.

Look at that sneaky little cute face! "Hmmm....how many teeny, tiny pieces can I possibly pull out on the floor for mommy to navigate through on her way out the door?"

Here is a shot of my Mom, Dori, and Grandmother on the day of my brother's wedding. We had a fun lunch at Cracker Barrel. Cousin Joseph was really into the biscuits. LOL.

I'll close out with this shot of me and my sweet Judson. What a stinker. What a ball of love. Hope everyone is having a wonderful start to SPRING!

Things I Love:

2010-03-16T14:48:00.002-04:00

I love this green tea! My most favorite green tea I've ever tried. Plus it has the added benefit of giving a little energy boost and of course all the wonderful qualities of green tea. Very tasty.

Ezekial bread....how I love this stuff. It is pricey at almost $5 a loaf, but it is so delicious and filling. Here is a write up from the Food for Life website:

Ezekiel 4:9® Organic Sprouted Whole Grain Products are inspired by the Holy Scripture verse: "Take also unto thee Wheat, and Barley, and beans, and lentils, and millet, and Spelt, and put them in one vessel, and make bread of it..." Ez 4:9

We discovered when six grains and legumes are sprouted and combined, an amazing thing happens: a complete protein is created that closely parallels the protein found in milk and eggs. There are 18 amino acids present in Ezekiel 4:9® Organic Sprouted Whole Grain bread. Made from freshly sprouted organically grown grains, Ezekiel 4:9® Organic Sprouted Whole Grain bread is naturally flavorful and bursting with nutrients and is rich in protein, vitamins, minerals and natural fiber with no added fat. Try it served warm to release its exceptionally rich nutty flavor.

This is *my* bread. Jason likes it too, but he prefers wraps if he's going to eat a sandwich. The kids would eat it, but don't love it, so I give them plain whole wheat bread. We probably couldn't afford to feed everyone in the family Ezekial bread anyway.

The new Passion CD! We have been waiting and waiting for the cd release ever since we returned from Passion in January. It is all of the music used over Passion 2010 and a few extras. Fantastic! I listened to this new cd several times this past Sunday on my 8 hour drive to and from Meridian. As soon as I heard the first track I immediately went right back to the experience of being at Passion. Very thankful for this CD.

Passion 2010

2010-01-18T12:26:00.003-05:00

I was privileged to attend Passion 2010 during the first week in January. This is a 4 day conference/worship experience for high school seniors and college aged students. When I first heard about Passion, I wanted to go so badly, but thought there would be no way for me to attend. Cost, timing, and most of all...childcare....were major hindrances. However, I felt certain that God wanted me to get away from the normal routine of life and focus on Him and hear from Him. We began praying for a way for me to attend and I am happy to report that I was indeed able to go.

Here is a recap of my Passion 2010 experience I wrote as soon as we returned:

This past week/end at Passion completely blew my mind. I will never be the same. I guess one is never the same anytime one has an encounter with the living God. Wow. 20,000+ students and adults with hands raised high praising our God in one accord. It was truly beautiful and made me completely lose my fear of death. Does that make sense? I was just ready to be with Jesus, b/c surely as awesome and wonderful as that was...heaven will be infinitely sweeter still.

I'm so so grateful I got to go. God is SO very good to enable me the opportunity to solely focus on worshiping Him and hearing from Him without the distractions of children or other obligations. I had all this bottled up emotional response to God that I haven't let out publicly like that in several years. Hope that makes sense. The first day was just shocking. I was gripped by the very first video presentation which was filled with quiet acoustic piano music and written words of scripture on the screen...the Gospel message. I was shocked at how huge Passion was and remained in a state of bewilderment.

The second day was a time of personal breaking. God used all the speakers and music of that day to make me completely broken over my complacency about Him and my shallow and weak worship of Him. That was my cry day. LOL. Seriously, though, I had to apologize to the students for all my slobbery tears, b/c they just would not stop. It was ok, though. I was in good company. :D

After dealing with my own personal sin and getting right with God, led to the third day: a sweet, overflowing joy-filled day and night with the ability to worship Him with a clean heart. It was amazing. AMAZING. It culminated with John Piper preaching one of the most powerful messages on the Glory of God I have ever heard. Ever. I think it will take a year to fully unpack it, but essentially the message was all about how God does everything for His glory and that is a GOOD thing. And how when I see His Glory and rest in it ....well just about how we are a part of the Gospel story...that God is using us.. "working out our salvation" to bring Glory to His name and proclaim Himself to the nations, etc. etc. etc. And then the see the cross as that beautiful junction in the middle of it all where Jesus absorbed all our wrath...whew. If I could describe the moment in the sermon in that arena when Piper got to the cross in one word it would be a collective TREMBLE. Best though, was that after hearing the word explode in our hearts and seeing Christ revealed in our minds, we were able to WORSHIP Him in truth and in Spirit and I have never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever experienced anything so mind blowing in my 31 years. Oh how sweet. There was complete liberty to worship God with your whole being and no one cared. No one cared! Because we were all doing the same thing.....reaching our souls up to God offering everything we had for Him. It was so incredible I pray I never forget the moment. I wanted it to continue forever and ever but we did have to end the service.

However. After each evening service there was a "late night" where a band played in the arena for an hour. That night was Hillsong United. Whoa. I haven't really listened to much of their music in the past but now I am in love. So the Lord graciously gave yet another opportunity for sweet worship of Him. I was thrilled in my heart that we had most of our group decide to come and explode in worship of the one true God. Jason didn't go b/c he was weary, but almost all of the rest of us came and sat together and just had a sweet freeing time.

Usually I am behind a piano or keyboard and while I am certainly able to worship, every once in a while it is just so precious to be able to not worry about music or chords or whatever and just freely worship Him. So I'm so thankful for those 4 days of that.

The last day (morning really) was just a sweet time of fellowship as a group and reflection on all that God had done at Passion. I was so proud of our group..both college and HSers were open to what God was doing and responsive to Him. We all feel like we have been through something MAJOR together...something life altering that we will remember until we die. I am thankful...so thankful to God that He permitted me to go and be with my husband and be with our youth. It was great to really know their hearts and connect with them, where before I struggled with this and with my own personal vision for youth ministry. Now I can't tell you how excited I am for what God will do in 2010. The Lord has given both me and Jason some clear direction for our personal involvement with LV students and I am praying for a mighty work of God at our church.

-------------
Last night we had a "sharing time" with all the students and adults who attended. I was reminded yet again of the wonderful things I learned and experienced there and how thankful I am I was able to go.

Since returning from Passion, many many things have been happening that can only be explained as God. I look forward to sharing them with you all over time. :)

Much love to all!

The Hardage Holiday Home

2009-12-09T11:21:00.007-05:00

The decorations are humble and the theme (if there is one) is "Things That Make Us Smile". This is how we Hardage's decorate our home for Christmas:

I love vintage Christmas decorations. I'm always on the lookout at the local thrift shops.

One of many German ornaments my brother, David, sent to us while stationed there for several years. These are very delicate and have sweet, tiny little details that make them so fun to hang.

This is a play area for the kids. We made a rogue garland and hung lights around the shelves.

Also from Germany. Also from my brother David. This is probably my most treasured Christmas decoration. It is a nativity pyramid. It is supposed to have tiny taper candles which, when lit, make the pyramid spin.

"The stockings were hung by the chimney with care....."

The play area in the daylight. Our garland is rather sparse.

Another favorite nativity ornament.

This is our newly inherited Christmas Village. Aunt Linda passed along her collection to some *very* excited nephews and niece! We had so much fun putting it all together. Judson tells me to turn on this "Kissmas" every night. :)

An ornament from my childhood. Fun to hide a special present inside.

Dori's artwork. We have been studying the American artist/illustrator Tasha Tudor this term and I made the kids draw a picture using her "style" of making a detailed border around the main picture. Dori drew a family cutting down a tree and the children dancing with excitement.

An ornament from Jason's childhood. It is quite old and was handmade by one of his relatives.

We love candles around here...any sort of extra light, really. I caught Micah trying out the candle snuffer yesterday. It now resides out of reach.

Yet another German ornament.

Ok, this is a garland we made this week. Wow. Did you guys know how much patience is required to make real garland? Let me tell you: LOTS! I've made swags and wreaths before, but never a long garland. I discovered that these things were probably done over several evenings or days at a time in the old days before Lowe's sold them already made. You know, it was like a family project...or something. Anyway, I really wanted to try it and I looked up how to do it online and basically we spent one morning making a garland and that was our school. Dori and Micah actually really enjoyed making it and we worked on our math skills by figuring up how many bunches we would need to make to equal 12 feet and how much twine we would need to cut and how many more hours it would take at the rate of 5 feet per hour and how many more minutes Mom would remain sane if 25 mins=slightly insane. Yes, it was quite a mathematical day! It was fun. Messy--but fun. Oh, and the house smells great from it too.

Another shot of the homemade garland

And here is the tree. This year we moved it into the Den, since we don't heat the Living room and it seemed sad to look at our pretty tree through the window of the door. We are so enjoying our tree....even though I must say I had grand dreams of waiting until Christmas eve to buy a tree and have family and friends over that morning to decorate. Yeah, it was a crazy idea. An idea I hope to implement one day, but and idea that my husband nixed before I could even get the words out of my mouth! Ha!

Finally, here are our collection of Christmas storybooks. The whole wall of windows behind the tree has books on every ledge. Thrift shops are another great resource for classic and beautiful Christmas books.

Well....there you have it. The Hardage Holiday home. I hope everyone is enjoying this time of year! Love to you all!

Our Love Story

2009-11-06T11:40:00.004-05:00

Love. Loverly love. Lover love love. Yes, this blog post will be ALL about ooey-gooey (well maybe not all) romantic, girly stuff. If you get sick at your stomach with such things....stop reading now!

I had never met anyone like Jason Hardage. Ever. The first time I remember hearing his name was in the cafeteria at William Carey University. I had recently interviewed to spend the summer of my freshmen year serving *somewhere* in the US on mission. I passed by Jason and Pamela Coker's (then Leonard) table and Jason stopped me and said, "I know where you are going (he was in charge of the interview process and had a heads up) and who is on your team and you are gonna like it." The BSU summer missions program allowed you to select 3 preferences of service. I picked Boston, MA first, Washington, DC second; and The Pacific Northwest third. In all honesty, I didn't really want the northwest team...I only picked up b/c my friend Andy Winn went on and on about his earlier adventures there and how it made sense, b/c that team always needed a pianist. But secretly....I really really wanted the Boston slot. Kind of ironic I would later spend 8 years of my life in the Northeast, don't you think?

Back to the cafeteria...I distinctly remember Jason saying, "mel, you are not going to believe your team leader's testimony. It is AWESOME. And he is a BIIIIIGGGG guy!" Ha! I was definitely intrigued. My curiosity was sparked and I waited a few days until I was officially told that yes, I would be serving as the pianist for the northwest youth revival team, summer of 1997.

Then I got a letter in the mail. The return address was "Yellow Dog Road, Senatobia, MS." Who in the world was this??? This is what I read:

Dear Melanie

My name is Jason Hardage, and I'm one of your partners for summer missions 97. I am writing because I thought it would be a good idea to start some correspondence with the other team members in order to make known some prayer requests and also to get to know one another some before the summer starts. I want to let you know that I have begun praying daily for our team members individually and also for the people of the states in which we will be ministering. It is my prayer that God will do a mighty work through us this summer.

In Christ,
Jason Hardage

P.S. see Ephesians 3:14-21

Who is the world was this serious guy? I was impressed....and excited about serving with him. When I finally met Jason in person, he had his nose in the Bible and rarely looked up for anything else! He was serious! (those of you that know Jason know that he is really the most playful guy....but he really was super serious about our mission that summer).

We set off for WA and OR and spent a glorious, life changing summer serving churches and people of the region. Jason preached his first sermons on this trip and I lead in worship for the first time in my life. Truly, this trip was the great foundation for our lives together in ministry. Only we didn't have a clue at the time!

Summer Missions 1997: Our team

As I said in the beginning of this post...I had NEVER met anyone like Jason Hardage. I grew up "in the church" and had a very legalistic understanding of the Gospel..of grace...of our life in Christ. Jason shot all my legalistic ideas to pieces. I would counter, he would quote scripture. I would argue, he would ask me where in the Bible I came up with this or that idea. It didn't take too many weeks into the summer for me to stop arguing and begin to trust in his wisdom. He was a newer Christian, too, and I was embarrassed that I had been a believer in Christ for many years, and yet he knew the Word so thoroughly.

He loved those people, those young people we ministered to..he shared truth and the Word with them and I watched in awe thinking...man I wish I could be like that!

Near the end of the summer, I took a face first fall right onto a giant rock and knocked myself out. Jason scooped me up and carried me to rescue. I ended up breaking my nose and busting my face up pretty nasty and had to fly home early to have surgery. I truly loved these 3 guys that I had spent that summer with and just knew that we would remain close. I recall over a campfire in Castle Rock, WA...saying to all 3 of them, "I want you guys to be in my wedding." Who knew I would marry one of them?!?!

It would be almost a full year later that I would run into Jason Hardage again. And although we kept in touch a few times through email, we were really not a part of each other's lives. But at a Baptist college conference on the coast of MS, we met up once again. At the time, I wasn't really where I should have been in my walk with God. I was rebelling in some areas and actually almost didn't come to the conference....mainly because I knew I would be convicted in those areas of my life.

I drove down on the second day of the conference and as soon as I walked up, all my Carey friends were telling me that some big, huge, blonde-haired guy was looking for me. Hmmm. Seriously, probably 5 or more different sets of friends gave me this message that Jason Hardage was looking for me.

We finally saw each other and Jason ran over and gave me a HUGE full-on hug. Now, this is important to note because the *entire* time we were serving on summer missions together...Jason never touched me more than maybe a sideways hug every once in a while. Even more curious, while we were embracing, he spun me around. Whoa. I do remember thinking something was weird about Jason doing that, but I put it aside. We spent the next 24 hours sitting on rocking chairs and benches talking about everything under the sun. I didn't tell him I was seeing someone. I didn't really go into my personal struggles, but we had a great time and I was reminded of the things of God and how I loved ministry and it was just good.

The next day after the conference was over, I received this email:

Mel-dawg,
I can't tell you how good it was to see you over LTC. I wonder if you will ever read this email...anyway...well....I don't know what this means, well, I guess I do know what it means....I hope you don't run off and marry that law student...because...well, because I'd really like to get to know you better. Not the whole romantic thing. At least not yet. I'm sure I've said a mouthful...I wonder if you're shocked...I wonder if you'll even get to read this email.

Mark 10:45
love in Jesus
Jason

I sat in the Carey library reading the email over and over and over again. Tears started to stream down my face because I knew that God was using Jason to draw me back to him. I printed it. I ran to my dorm room to show my best friend Emily and try to figure out what in the world I would say in response. To say I was shocked was such an understatement! In my mind, Jason Hardage was a serious Bible scholar....he was a preacher for crying out loud! He was Godly, I was not. He walked with God and I struggled along. Yes, I was in shock. And I had to end the other relationship before I could even respond. And get right with God. It was overwhelming.

No lie, this was my exact response 2 days later:

Jason-

ok.

Love,
Mel-dog

Poor guy. I was so cruel! :D LOL And this was his reply:

sweet and simple....
or you were really busy.....
I prefer sweet and simple....
Lord Jehova reigns in majesty !!!!!
I think I'm gonna go read my Bible, thinking about you has that affect on me...that's a very good thing.

know that I am before the Father on your behalf
Jason

Whew. What a start to this "relationship!" We continued emailing back and forth...Jason pretty much practicing his sermons on me, lol, and me going over each email with a fine tooth comb looking for anything romantic or lovey dovey. And to be honest, during the beginning....there wasn't much! But we so enjoyed talking on the phone and emailing and encouraging each other. This lasted about 9 months. Long time for a girl to wait, y'all. Hello, can I get a witness??! I was careful not to gush to him or reveal my romantic feelings for him...I kept them mostly to myself or talked to Emily about it. I started to write them all down on little slips of paper, too, and collected them. Later, when we were engaged, I gave them all to Jason in a special wooden box that he had given me from his mission trip to Moldova, so he could read what I had been thinking and praying all those months.

He held his romantic intentions close to his chest. I waited. I admit fully that I was impatient, but finally the waiting paid off. Just when I was ready to tell him I was ready for him to make a decision about our "relationship" and what in the world was going to happen with us (remember, no kisses, no dates, no I love you, no fluffy, "you are so pretty/special/whatever" etc. It was rough!) I received a handwritten letter in the mail at my Carey mailbox dated November 8, 1998--almost 9 months since the initial email from him. I know I it is sort of whack to put this out for the world to see, but I really don't care. Here it is:

My dearest Melanie--
My first snail mail letter to you, and thus, it should be an important one--it is. Despite the importance from whence this letter will reveal my heart, I must let you know where I am as I pen these words---in the bath tub! I hope you are blushed, or laughing, or both!

There is so much I need to say from the depths of joy and from the blackness of fear and doubt. I write these words prayerfully.

I know I have been aloof and uncertain about my feelings for you, and I can't say that I've not struggled with the will of God--but Mel, I take full responsibility for our relationship and I believe that it's time to move on in our relationship....that is, into a deeper relationship. God has led me to this decision and I know it's not for heartache or for pain, but for His Glory and our success and future. I love you! You are such an encourager, beautiful flower, an expression of grace, a faithful friend, you make me love God more.

On Thursday, I asked you to go to China with me and you said, "let's go." That sealed my heart!--that you would follow....I pray God leads.

I know that we both have our faults, things that we both have not so much revealed as of yet. It's easy not to see those faults when we are so far away, but as God continues to redeem our character, we will overcome even these.
I must go!
I do love you!
Jason

It is so emotional to type that out. Tears are streaming down my face now just as they were then...to think of God's gracious hand in forming us, putting us together, and to think of where we are now on the other side of that letter having served in various places in NY and RI and now back in MS. I am filled with emotion and thanks to God.

A month later he finally kissed me. Sorry, I know that is TMI. Six months later we were engaged. And on November 6, 1999 we were married.

Maybe you are reading this thinking that I am bragging or thinking that we've had ideal situations or something like that.....let me tell you we have fought for our marriage tooth and nail. Tooth. And. Nail! We have faced trials, financial strain, uncertainty, crisis times between the two of us..losses, upheaval. We've looked at some of those faults square in the eye that Jason mentioned way back in 98. There have been babies. LOTS OF BABIES! LOL. And there has been pain, failures, doubts, etc. I certainly don't boast in ourselves...in our own ability to "make it work." No, I boast in Christ...in His everlasting grace and mercies that are new every morning. He alone has preserved this union and all glory goes to Him.

I wrestled with whether or not to post these very personal bits about our life so far together. If you are on Facebook, you have seen the endless amount of pictures I have posted from our 10 years together (and some from before!). My purpose in posting all of that was to 1. give Glory to God for our marriage and life together, and 2. publicly show my love and affection for Jason; and 3. hopefully encourage others.

The truth is, since I've posted the pictures on Facebook, I've receiving a bunch of private messages from folks who indeed, have been encouraged and reminded of their own love for their spouse...for the beauty of God's provision...for His faithfulness in their own lives. Praise God for this! My hope and prayer is that if you are reading this, you are also reminded of His lovingkindness in your life, and His goodness.

To close, I want to post the lyrics to a song I wrote several months ago in anticipation of our upcoming 10 year anniversary. I had been reading through the book of Ruth at the time and it sparked some musical/lyrical thoughts. Now that you have read that hand-written letter from Jason to me all those years ago, you will also see more of the background and foundation for the song.

"Follow"

You asked me once..
so long ago
If I could stay or
if I could go

I told you then
and meant it well
"I will follow you
and humbly dwell."

Riches of this world have never
made me wish for more
I am happy to be forever
under His grace....and to be yours

I will go where you go
I will live where you live
and we will dance into the moonlight praising God for all He did.

Tears come down
when I think about how
after all these years and
pain and tears
we'd be where we are now

And when we breathe
that final breath
we will know
we'll know
we've been beautifully blessed

Riches of this world have never
made me wish for more
I am happy to be forever
under His grace....and to be yours

I will go where you go
I will live where you live
and we will dance into the moonlight praising God for all He did.

I love God. I love Jason. I stand in awe of His mighty hand through the past 10 years and give all glory to Him.

Thanks for reading.

Cereal and Rain

2009-10-22T16:14:00.002-04:00

This will be brief. Two things: Judson dumped out 5 full boxes of cheerios, corn flakes, bran flakes, and rice crispies all over the kitchen floor today. And it's raining.

Sigh. But I'm still smiling! :) I have fought a blah attitude allll day. I'm still fighting, too! I'm hopeful for this evening when we are all together as a family and can read and pray together. Tomorrow Jason is off. I'm so thankful since it has been several weeks in a row that he hasn't had a day off. I'm looking forward to a relaxing day.

Hope everyone is having a better attitude on this dreary day than me! Love you all!

Day in the life: October 16--19th

2009-10-19T17:25:00.004-04:00

Yes, I know that the title says "Day in the life" and I have listed several dates to cover. It's just that so many awesome things happened in the past couple of days I have to share multiple "days" but "Days in the life" sounded weird. Onward.

Friday, October 16

A much anticipated day. Words cannot possibly express how much so. They really cannot. But I will try. You see I have not had a haircut since September of 2008. September of Two Thousand Eight. Are you grasping this? I am not the type of woman who gets her hair done (or hair did as they say around here in MS) every other week or anything, but folks....that is more than a year! I think I have set my own personal record. I mean, I have definitely gone a looong stretch between haircuts, but never a year! Never more than a year! I'm not sure what that says about me really. Perhaps it says that my last hair cut was SO good, that it simply lasted that long. Nah. It more likely says that I procrastinated and that the kind or haircut I prefer cost $$. So.....I waited for Friday, October 16th with great anticipation. My friend Ann recommended her stylist and salon and "Rachel" so graciously got me in quickly. I showed her a picture of some famous person that looked like the hair I wanted to try to achieve.

To sum up: Rachel was awesome! My hair is red now and very different from what it was and I just love it! So fun! My children were grinning ear to ear when they saw me and Dori hugged me really hard and long and said she LOVED it. She is a girl after my own heart. :) James asked if he could change his hair to blue. Sigh. I told him maybe. For Halloween. Or something. This is a recent photo of my new hair do:

After my wonderful and lengthy hair appointment, I went to Longview for "Secret Church" with our youth. This was something new that Jason and David (Jr high pastor) cooked up as an intense time of worship, discipleship, and preaching....but also with some fun thrown in too! It started at 6:30 and ended at midnight, but I left with James and Judson around 10:30. Secret Church was a great success....I was so encouraged to hang out with our youth and to get to know them a little better. We had my friend Stephen's band "Philadelphia" come in and lead in worship, and Jason, David, and intern Vlad all preached/taught for roughly one hour each. As I said, "secret church" was not just a run of the mill lock in! Around 9pm, I helped lead the students in a debate. Our topic was "God cannot exist when evil exists in the world." I was very impressed with our young thinkers and even Dori participated. It was great fun!

I was pretty tired when we got home, but it was worth it to keep the kids out late and just really invest in these students God has placed in our lives. I'm very grateful for the experience and hope we do something like it again soon.

Saturday, October 17

Woke up with my new 'do....still amazed at how different I looked! I got ready for something very exciting and also slightly crazy: a photo shoot. Yes, you read that correctly. Craziness I know! Here the deal....as you know I am ssssllllllllooooooowwwwwlllllyyyyy working on recording an album of my original music. Yes, it is taking forever and won't speed up anytime soon as these things just take time. Especially when time is short and money is shorter! LOL But, one of my "far off" thoughts had been to get my friend Katie Dunlap to take some photos for the cover of the hypothetical album. I saw that Katie's photography business had really taken off (we are old friends from 10 years ago when her husband Brad and Jason were in seminary together) and absolutely loved her work and her style. Here is her website so you can see some of her work: http://www.capturebykatie.com/

A few months ago, basically right when I started the recording process, I sent Katie a message inquiring about the possibility of her ever coming to Memphis to do work here. Honestly, I didn't really think it would be possible, but she wrote me back that "yes, actually, she knew of several who wanted sessions and would probably be here in the fall." Well....long story short....we had a photo shoot Saturday morning, and despite feeling a tiny bit silly for doing something like that before I even have an album with which to put a cover photo on....it was a lovely and wonderful experience. Katie and her fun assistant Alissa (not sure if I'm spelling that right, but I know she will forgive me!) met me at Rhodes College at 10am. I had never been to Rhodes and let me tell you it is gorgeous! Think old, gray stony buildings with curved, cut out architecture. Simply fabulous! It was a bit blustery, but not too bad and all three of us had a totally fantastic time. It was fun to do something like that...no children, no obligations....I had my rockin new hair, lol, it was just a wonderful time. Katie was a great encouragement to me, regarding my music and my pursuits...reminding me that God has gifted each of us in special ways and it is ok to celebrate that...share that....embrace that. I struggle at times thinking that I am ridiculous for writing music or for trying to record it. It is hard to explain this. I fully embrace my role as wife and mother and cherish it. And I would never do anything to jeapordize it. However, Melanie is also a person who lives and breathes music. I love to write and share what I've written! It was such a blessing to me to hear from Katie and to share with her those things. I look forward to seeing those photos and also to watching Katie's business flourish as I'm sure it will! We are blessed women to have husbands so supportive and encouraging of our endeavors.

I left Rhodes on a big high...definitely. But wait, the day was not over and there were more awesome things to come! David and Claudia Windham (again, David the jr. high pastor at Longview) were given Memphis Grizzlies tickets for Saturday night but they decided to give them to us and TO KEEP ALL FOUR CHILDREN so we could enjoy a night out together. Whoa! What a blessing. God is so good and gracious to us and I am so thankful. I have so enjoyed getting to know David and Claudia. They are such a sweet couple....about to have their first baby in December! James has taken to "Mr. David Windham" as he calls him. He runs up and hugs him every time he sees him and even told me the other day that he is "James Windham." Hahahaha. Dori is very fond of Claudia as they sharing a love of knitting and art. Claudia can knit faster than you could buy something at a store..and it's much cuter! I couldn't say enough about this special couple. They came over, fed our children, played with them, watched a movie with them, and got them to bed! Any mom knows how much of a blessing it is to retreat with your hubby knowing your children are being loved and cared for by capable hands.

We had a blast at the Grizzlies game. It was at the FedEx Forum, which I had never been to, and the Grizzlies won! We had *great* seats....and as a bonus, got to sit with another family from church, the Wilson's.

Sunday, October 18th

I always look forward to Sundays. This one was no different. My 10th grade girls Sunday School class did not disappoint and my friend Kristin, who co teaches with me, did a great job teaching a much needed lesson on totally relying on God and not thinking too much of yourself. After that was a great worship time and preaching. After a relaxing afternoon, we came back for J's Spiritual Disciplines class. Every week I see how UNdisciplined I am, but I left encouraged and hopeful for the future and my own struggles regarding being disciplined.

It has been unusually cold here in north MS. Seriously! We had our first wood stove fire on Saturday and believe me...we needed it! We haven't yet filled up our propane take for the heat in the back portion of the house, so Sunday night we decided to sleep as a family in the den and keep the wood stove going all night. This was both extremely wonderful and fun....and a bit of a nightmare!

I made up the sleeper sofa for me and J and pulled Micah's full size mattress on the floor by the stove....turned it sideways so the kids could all sleep on it. THis was a good plan in theory. More on that later.

The kids were so sweet and so thrilled we were ALL sleeping in the den. Such fun for them. Micah said, "mom, I feel so happy in my heart right now." Awww. He doesn't say sentimental things like that often (very much like his daddy!) but I thought it was so sweet for him to say that and I'm so glad we did it, despite problems. LOL.

So J cranked up the fire. Really cranked it up. REALLY. :P And for about an hour we were sweating! And each and every child were wiggling like they had ants in their pants. And fussing. And crying. And Judson kept climbing out of the playpen I had set up for him. And James kept getting up. And Micah kept wiggling. Are you getting the picture? :D Never fear, though....we got smart and opened up some doors to cool things down a bit and finally, mercifully, everyone got to sleep. We slept surprisingly well, too! I wonder if we will do this again tonight......!

Monday, October 19th

We woke up with the sun, which is just glorious. Especially since these parts haven't seen much sun lately. The older children completed home schooling duties and I was able to squeeze in some practice time at the piano for some music me and aforementioned Stephen are playing for a fundraiser soon for the Hope House of Memphis. This organization helps children and families who have AIDS. This is the event:

I met with Stephen at Longview to rehearse for about 2 hours. I'm really excited about this opportunity to play and sing. The songs we've selected are just....really good. We are both going to do some original stuff too, which is always fun. As everything that happens in my life....I'm not really sure just how it happened that we are doing this, but again, God is good! It is a joy to follow where He leads. I'm glad to participate in such a noble cause.

After we practiced, I retrieved the children from Ma Jane's and we came home and had a BIG snack. I have this tray that I pull out from time to time and put all sorts of snacky foods on that the kids can grab when they want. You know...things that don't spoil, things that are healthy and things that aren't very messy. I made some peanut butter sandwiches and decided to put to use these super cute fall cookie cutters. It is amazing how excited children get with just the smallest of pleasures! They were thrilled that I made leaf, pumpkin, and turkey cut-out sandwiches for the tray! I have to admit, they were pretty cute. :P

We haven't finished this day, of course, but if the past several days are any indicator, this evening will also be great. I am so thankful to God for His blessings and gifts in my life. Whew. What a weekend! I hope all of you are enjoying fall this year as much as I am.

Things I love about FALL:

2009-10-13T12:12:00.009-04:00

Pumpkins and Gourds.
Aldi's has the cheapest pumpkin price I've seen: $2.50 for very large pumpkins. We have already picked up a few at the children's request.

Pumpkin Spice coffee creamer. YUM. Aldi's also has this on special and their brand is quite good and cheap. :)

Fall decorating.
We have something similar to the above photo...it's a felt leaf garland I got on sale at World Market last year after Thanksgiving. We hung it over the kid's play area.

I do miss the changing of the seasons like we experienced while living in NY. Here are some reminders of that beautiful time. I love these photos and my dear friend Elaine who took them:

What a sweet time this was....Dori, Micah, and baby James.

These shots were taken at Washington Park in Albany, NY. We lived a few blocks over from this gorgeous city park. I love these photos and the way Elaine perfectly captured our family.

James

2009-10-13T11:34:00.002-04:00

It is fitting that the day after I post about my sweet little James, he would pull some of his antics this morning. This brings to mind several James episodes that I will share.

*This morning James took the scissors and cut a huge portion of his hair to the root. He said he needed a mohawk.

*Last night I caught him with a marker....all over his bedroom walls, arms, legs, and face.

*Yesterday afternoon when I finally emerged from the bedroom (I've been sick) I found an empty sugar bag on the counter. Next to it was a jar candle filled to the brim with sugar. Across from that was a bowl overflowed with sugar and finally...in the sink was a layer of sugar.

All this occurred in just 2 days, people! Take it in!

This is the child who greets me every morning with a warm hug and sweet kisses. He regularly climbs in my lap, wraps his soft arms around my neck and whispers in my ear, "I wuv you, Mommy."

He is so very loving and yet his antics show over and over that you don't have to teach a child to do wrong...that ole sin nature is evident!

I love James. He reminds me of how I often "do naughty things" and make a mess of stuff. I don't mark on the walls, but I do often mark all over the figurative walls of my life because I'm not obedient to my Heavenly Father and my sin nature/flesh wins out over the Spirit.

I'm so thankful for these lessons God shows me through observing my four year old's life. Now to schedule a visit to the barber shop.......

James' 4th Birthday!

2009-10-12T19:44:00.004-04:00

The Castle cake I spent two days making! The "rocks" are hazelnut candies. James sneaked into the "rocks" as you will see later.

Judson enjoying the birthday balloon..."banoon" as he says it.

Micah and James discussing the presents. :D

Happy Birthday, My sweet love James! Aunt Amanda got him the shield, helmet, and sword set. Notice the missing rocks. :P

Sir James!

Very happy about his new cars from Mama Linda and Pappaw!

Micah, James, and Mason. Emmy's arm.

Micah, James, and Mason. Emmy's feet.

more shots of the castle cake:

The little orange thing is a fishy. He got eaten along with the rocks.

My little James is four now. It is so hard to believe. God gave him to me at just the right time and I am so very thankful for this precious child. He loves big and hard and marches to his own beat. He had a wonderful day and I love him so.

Hattiesburg Trip

2009-07-20T23:45:00.009-04:00

Well, we finally made a trip south to Hattiesburg for a few days. It was short, but sweet and so overdue! It seemed like every time we tried to head down, someone would get sick or something would come up, and it wouldn't work out. But last Thursday, we were able to pack up and go.

I woke up that morning to loud thunder and rain falling, but this did not deter me. I don't think anything could have stopped this trip!

The kids were so excited to see Grandma and Grandpa Moser and Uncle Jason and it was easy to wake them due to all the anticipation. :)

On the way down, we stopped in Madison to visit my best friend Emily, and her children: Anne-Elise, Ava, and new baby Jak. Let me stop right here and say that I am so thankful for my friendship with Emily. Through the years we've remained as close as we ever were, if not closer. When I walked in Em's door (which was decorated with a sweet drawing for us with my kids' names on it! how sweet!) the first thing I said was, "how come I haven't been here before now?!" In fact, I'm already planning and scheming for the next visit. :D

My kids *love* to play with Emily's kids, and between the two of us, we have a serious crew! It is such a joy to see our little ones play together. I just love it! Thankfully they all play great together (except for when one of my boys forgets the delicate sweetness of girls) and give me and Em time to talk about the 2,347,987,234 things we always seems to squish into a visit. I am so thankful for our friendship that has remained and strengthened through the years. It is refreshing to get together and share our lives with each other and pick up right where we left off from the time before. Of course, there is no shortage of serious belly laughs (which are so needed for the mamafolk). It is just........good. Visiting Em is like drinking a great cup of coffee: rich, strong, and satisfying. So thankful for this short, but fun visit!

Me and Emily

Ava. Gracious what an adorable child!!

Sad Ava.

Anne-Elise and Dori. They're buddies. They share love of art among other things.

Multiplication. And poor baby Jak isn't even in the shot. Somehow I missed him in all the festivities. He is so so cute, though.

After spending a few hours with the Kines family, we headed for Grandma's house. The kids love to visit Grandma and Grandpa for the same reasons I used to love to go over to their house. Grandma *always* has yummy cookies. The yard is huge and has flowers and a swing set in it. Grandpa has cartoons ready and waiting to be watched and enjoyed. Grandma has tiny little juice cups for breakfast time. It is fun at Grandma and Grandpa's house!

We also spent a good bit of time with Uncle Jason. I guess you could say that this visit James and Jason "bonded," lol. For some reason, at every meal, James sat next to Uncle Jason and would reach over and grab Jason's arm. Then grin at him with a loving smile. It was quite comical. Who knows what James was thinking, but thankfully, Jason went along and they are big buddies now.

This is Dori at Uncle Jason's house

Micah, Jason, Dori, and Judson at the back of Grandma's yard. Old, random boat in back ground.

Observing old, random boat.

Pears in the yard.

Dori, Jason, Micah, and James in front of Grandpa's shed.

Um..ok, so James wanted to take a picture. There were 5 other people that were supposed to be in this shot but James said, "I wanna take a picture of him." And then to our surprise he did! Hahaha.

Me and Jason. Rare moment. Everyone hold your breath!

I like this one....

Swingin' at Grandma's

Dori discovered this old book of Fairy Tales and told me that she decided she would read it through cover to cover without skipping over the fairy tales she already knew OR the ones that seemed boring in the beginning. Ok, then. Jason was worried he'd offended Dori because she came inside to read while all the boys were throwing the football. I assured him this is normal and in fact happens fairly regularly.

James in Uncle Jason's racecar.

James and Ginger. Judson running away from Ginger.

Before bed reading.

The boys are in desperate need of haircuts, which will be remedied this Friday. However, while at Grandma's, they were needing some hair help. Grandpa obliged.

"I can only do so much, Melanie...." :P

Here's Grandma! She was making a delicious ham dinner and stopped to smile and let me get a photo. Many, many, many memories of Grandma in this spot serving her family and feeding us well.

Judson wasn't feelin' this shot.

It was a great, albeit short, visit. I'm thankful we were able to go....for the weather not being too terrible, for safe travels, laughter, loving, sharing, good food, good times. Till the next time.......

Doctor visits, plah-nos, dec-torating, and cobbler...

2009-07-10T22:41:00.007-04:00

This is Judson, affectionately known as Judder in these parts. Wow, he is really growing up so fast and it is so hard to believe that he is almost TWO years old. Somebody stop the clock! This photo was taken today....in his first outfit of the day. Judder usually goes through 2 to 4 outfits a day. I know I have four children and should be a total pro at figuring out how to keep a baby in only one outfit per day, but I just don't understand how it's done! This is one messy kid. Evidence will follow.

Dori and Micah both had physicals this morning with a new doctor. They were a little nervous about going, but this place was fabulous. I think we were there "consulting" with our new doctor for almost 2 hours! I have never experienced a doctor's appointment like this. Dr. C really listened to me and had such a great demeanor with the kids. When he went to look in Micah's ear, he said, "now Micah, is there a worm in here (acting totally serious and looking at Micah with big serious eyes, LOL)? Because doctors need to know if boys have worms in their ears!" So funny! Micah *loved* it!
This is Dori coloring while we waited. And her completed masterpiece.

Me and Dori at the doctor's office. I would like to point out the necklace I am wearing. This was my birthday present from my brother Jason this year and I totally love it! It's just a simple silver circle, but I just adore this necklace. Thank you brother!

When we returned from the doctor visit, Judson was "playing Nie Nie." He would actually lie on the floor for quite some time, all covered up in his quilt, and be perfectly still. It was really cute.

Close up of "Nie Nie" time.

Next in the day (and after Judson went down for a nap) was some piano/singing time. Dori took these photos. You may be thinking I'm crazy for waiting until Judson napped to play. Let me explain. When I was pregnant with Dori 8 years ago, I had just finished my music degree and did an awful lot of daily practicing. It was still very much a part of my life (classical playing, I mean). I felt strange not practicing and kept it up all through the pregnancy. I think this is why, when she was born, my playing never bothered her and actually sometimes would put her to sleep! Hahahaha.

I'm getting long winded. Anyway. All my children have heard music going on during every part of the day. It doesn't seem to bother them and I think they like it. Judson sleeps right through *most* days. If I get really rowdy (blush) with the playing and singing he might wake up.

James has a very unique personality and part of it is that he feels compelled to share with me anything he deems important at any time. If I am unavailable for his ramblings, he throws himself on the floor. He must be heard! He must not be silenced! Power to the people!

Inevitably, James finds 92834982482348900 things to tell me at precisely the very middle of a piece I am working on with all my heart. I fight feeling frustrated. I stop. I listen. I wait until he's told me that he's Octopus Prime and Micah is Bumblebee, or is it he's Bumblebee and Micah's Octopus Prime? Because you cannot mess up the regurgitation of his message or it will all begin again even more emphatically! Trust me. I know. I love my James. Sometimes he interrupts my playing with incessant taps on my shoulder while saying, "mommy, stop playing the Plah-no" a gazillion times until I stop. Sometimes he can't handle the sounds of the piano and my singing because his little brain is firing away at the speed of light and he starts flailing around like a modern dancer. It is quite a sight. But know this: that little boy will LOVE you, and embrace you, and tell you the world if you'll only let him. So I do. The above photo is what happened after the 23402389248th interruption while I was playing. He tapped me and said, "mommy....I want to squeeze you hard as I can with a hug." He makes me smile.

But wait, it gets better. Jason announced this afternoon that he was making dinner--including clean up. I don't know what in the world led to this, but I am not complaining! He made a delicious dinner of lemon pepper chicken, brown rice, and veggies. It was quite good. But it left a need for dessert. I rarely make dessert in this house. We eat it too fast and we struggle enough with food issues. But tonight was one of those nights that just *needed* a sweet to compliment the meal. I had some blueberries from my mom that needed to be used, so I went in search of a recipe. I settled on Blueberry Cobbler. Oh yum. Heavenly. Delicious. Memories of southern eating as a kid. My children have never had cobbler and didn't know what it was! Haha.

So as I am preparing this, I realize I am out of both butter and baking powder. But nothing will stop me from preparing this awesome southern treat....so I go off to the store.

And this is what greeted me at the back door when I returned:

Thank goodness it was washable! I fussed at James a bit and he said to me, "But Mommy, I was just dec-torating me and Judder." My my. That James.

Here's a picture of what is left of that cobbler. And yes, it was oh so good! Everyone agreed that cobbler is a great dessert anytime.

Cobbler N' Milk

What happens after Cobbler N' Milk! I love this picture. All my boys. I love that J gets in the fray with them. It didn't last long and all were bathed and rid of the markers and cobbler remnants. That is today. July 10

2009-07-08T12:37:00.002-04:00

I can't believe I haven't blogged in so long. We are done with school. Summer is presently being enjoyed to the max!

I couldn't possibly write everything that has happened over the past month and a half, so I will just pick up right we are today.

This week is super busy. But all good things kind of busy. Monday I was in a funky kind of mood and struggled with procrastination and motivation to do the mundane. You know, such things as laundry (endless loads), straightening, cleaning bathrooms, cooking, etc. etc. I could write a million posts about my battle with domestic duties. Some days I absolutely love taking care of the house and my family. I love being in the kitchen and the smell of clean clothes coming out of the laundry machine. But other times I feel like I'm suffocating under the dull tasks ahead of me. And they are never-ending! I know all you women out there relate. It really take a right heart attitude to accomplish the things I am called to do, but yeah...some days are tough. Monday was like that. Until............

After dinner I left Jason in charge and went down to the church to continue in the recording process. We decided to use the grand on stage to lay down about 5 piano tracks. Ok, this piano is like silk. And it calls to me, lol. Seriously. There is no other way to describe it's gorgeous and enticing sound. It is a specially made Shiguru (think I'm spelling that right) Kawai, and it is pure bliss to play. I get lost in the sound. Anyway, it made the whole day better to play it and work on music. I'm so thankful to be able to do this. :)

Tuesday was relaxing and much, much better in the daytime than Monday. This was partly because I had a nice visit with a friend. And that encouraged me.

Today I am back at the laundry game and took a break moments ago to write another song. It's all about following Jason wherever he goes. I guess you could say it's a love song of sorts, but it stemmed from a reading of the book of Ruth. I'm super excited to play it for him, because I know he will love it. He always loves songs about him!

Tonight we have church...the children or doing water events. They will LOVE that. I have band practice.

Tomorrow we are going on a "triple" date with two other couples to a restaurant in Memphis called Texas de Brazil. This place is supposed to be THE best steakhouse around and I've been told to not eat anything all day for full enjoyment. We are so thrilled to have an evening out together and consume copious amounts of red meat! Yay for beef.

Friday J will be home and I'm sure we will do something fun as a family. Perhaps go to the park or grocery shopping (yes, actually that *can* be fun!), or work on the new swimming pool. I'm meeting my friend Stephen to practice some music in the afternoon, which is always fun.

I hear screaming in the background so this is all for now!
Love to all

Update

2009-05-23T11:35:00.002-04:00

We are trying very hard to finish up our schooling over here. When we moved here last September it was chaos for a while. We have not followed the MS schedule, but rather stuck with the Rhode Island schedule and started sometime after labor day. At present Dori and Micah are *very* close to being done, lacking a small amount of lessons. Schools here are already out. I suspect we will wrap up in about two weeks at the most. It is strange to have school out in May....so unlike the northeast where school continues until almost the end of June.

My camera is currently out of commission because our desktop is out of commission, therefore I cannot charge the camera. The desktop is being worked on and I hope it is back in action soon.

Dori, Micah, and James were in a musical program at church last Sunday. Both Dori and Micah had small parts and did great! I was so proud of all their hard work. James stood perfectly still and stared at me the entire time he was supposed to be singing. He had a huge grin, though, so I guess it's ok. Mama Linda and Pappaw drove over to witness the production and we had a nice time visiting with them, plus Auntie E and cousin Mary Thomas on Monday.

Summer seems imminent and exciting. The church has 987293847 things going on from mission trips to VBS to weekly special events for the children. I'm afraid things could potentially be busier in the summer than the school year! It will be fun, though. Our summer plans include taking several camping trips...something we have wanted to do for the past 3 summers but have been unable due to babies being born, money and time issues, etc. We are all completely excited about the camping adventures.

I am working on my music and some days I feel like the stuff I work on is good and right and other times I feel like it is complete garbage, lol! I'm sure this is normal. We recently had the piano tuned, mercifully, and now I am drawn to it daily for several hours a day, when I can squeeze it in. Dori is also drawn. And yesterday, I even caught Micah playing around, even though he swears up and down he wants to be a drummer.

The hope...the plan....is to begin recording some stuff soon. I have super great, generous, and talented friends who are helping me. It is exciting and yet also scary. I do not want to create bad music--even if it is just a simple thing of recording my own personal musical journey. I've thought a lot about why I want to do this. What is my purpose? Goals? Desires? And I came to the conclusion that I do want to share my music...you know to friends or to family. Have a way to let them know where I'm at, so to speak. Kind of like this blog except in music form, LOL. That is the best explanation I can give. Anyway, as things happen I will post more about it.

Aside: as I type this, Judson is standing in front of me with a t shirt on and diaper...no pants..."brushing" his teeth and holding a tube of toothpaste. He's grinning. I love him so.

James is presently Batman and prefers to be called Batman and is living in a Batman world.

Micah told me recently that 2 of his baseball team buddies "know God." That child is so like his father. How he arrives at this conclusion I really don't know...but I cannot even express how blessed I am to be his mother and to see his mind/heart sort out the things of God. He told me two days ago that I was the best mother in the whole world. I was feeling down and he percieved that and so followed with the comment and a huge hug. I love him.

Dori is enthralled in her books and her art/music world. She told me yesterday, while we were discussing India and our love for all things Indian, that she really wanted to go with me and Jason if we decide to take a trip this fall. I asked her if she would be afraid of the snakes. She said, "probably...but I will trust God to take care of me."

Yes, I am shamelessly boasting in my children. I am so thankful I get the privelege to be their mother and how I fail them so often and how quickly they forgive. It is mind boggling and beautiful at the same time. I am blessed.

Birthday Mayhem

2009-05-04T02:20:00.003-04:00

Alright...something happened tonight that is just absolutely blogworthy in every way! Tomorrow is my 31st birthday (hard to believe, but yes, those years do thankfully, keep rollin' by). My sweet, funny, wonderful friend Ann brought some very nicely decorated cupcakes to our Sunday evening class that J teaches. This was such a nice surprise! The cupcakes were delicious and frosted to look like a giant ice cream cone. We're talkin' GOBS of yummy frosting! At least an inch thick on the top. Anyway, I brought home the leftovers to let the children have some. As I was picking up a bit around the house, I suppose I left too much time between visits to check on the children and this is what I saw when I finally returned to the kitchen:

What you have here is approximately 6 chocolate cupcakes that have been smashed and squished to smitherines. Notice a random slice of bread ended up in the mix . Also some broccoli on the far right. Mercy.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out the culprit, now does it? My little James...as sweet and precious and cuddly and warm and wonderful as he is, had managed to completely cover his face with frosting.

Wait for it......

Little bit more..........

Okay, here we go..................

Oh my word. Just to be clear, that is a very thick layer of frosting on his face. Not sure the camera does it justice! LOL

Well, then.

At this point a parent has two choices: react in anger and punish the child for his misbehavior while away from direct parental supervision; or simply accept that this is one of those times in life where a bit of laughter and temperance will probably help the whole situation immensely. I laughed. And photographed. And carried my sticky 3 year old straight away into the bath tub. Yes, I did lecture James about how even though mommy laughed *this time* it would not be okay for him to repeat this frosting adventure anytime in the near future!

The funniest part about the whole thing....is that earlier in the evening when I picked James up from his class at church, he had in his hand an early Mother's Day gift. It was the sweetest, most innocent looking picture of him:

Now is that not absolutely hysterical??!! :)

And finally, a shot of Judson and his cup cake mayhem:

Ah, being a mother is truly a most wonderful thing! I cannot think of a better way to welcome my 31st birthday than to blog about my little guy. His squishy goodness, even with a layer of frosting on his face, is so perfectly wonderful and I am so wonderfully blessed, well, it's hard to put into words. I know one day, years from now and God willing, I will ache inside wishing to return to these times. I will remember with longing my little James and the cupcake incident. I will certainly never forget this birthday! Thank you James for that!

Micah's sleepover

2009-05-01T23:37:00.004-04:00

As I type, Micah, James, and two friends Andrew and Nathaneal are quietly chattering and half-way watching a movie. They are sprawled out on the den floor with glow sticks and excitement. Probably a bit of exhaustion, too. I decided to blog about this while I have the moment and I am just a few feet away listening to the fun. :) Our party was postponed due to illness last week, but thankfully, the festivities began this evening in full force and with much anticipation. The above shot is before Micah blew out his number 7 candle. I really can't believe he is seven!

Another friend, Blake, was able to come and hang out for a while, but couldn't spend the night. The boys (a total of 7 earlier with some siblings) spent a good while outside with the wooden swords, shields, arrows and bows. They had so much fun running and chasing each other and only one child came in crying with an injury. Thankfully he made a swift and full recovery. '

It was hard to pull them inside to eat or do cake or really to do anything. They just had such a good time being boys. Around 8pm, as the sun set and it became too dark to see, they finally came in (with prodding I might add) to eat cake and ice cream.

Micah received some very nice gifts right up his alley. The boys had a good time setting up the new toys and they all played very well together. James decided he wants everything Micah got for his birthday. Oh, and speaking of James. That little stinker got into the cake at 4pm this afternoon! He confessed, well, the blue icing all over his lips was a clue, and of course received due punishment. I was able to sort of reconstruct things to a suitable level, but I was quite upset with him. Micah was surprisingly nonchalant. Whew.

The flash on my camera is so good that it appears that the boys are in full light, when actually this shot is completely dark in the room. They were playing quietly on their pallets.
We lit up the lights over the play area on account of such a special occasion. That and I just think it's pretty.

Well, I am about to head to bed, leaving Jason in charge of everyone. Chocolate chip pancakes are slated for breakfast in the morning and more outside play has been requested. I'd say our first ever sleepover at Casa Hardage is trucking along wonderfully! See you all in the morning!

2009-05-01T09:58:00.003-04:00

Ok, people, today is Micah's 7th birthday celebration sleepover. I worked tirelessly last night to complete the most work intensive cake I've ever made....sadly, the result does not watch the work it took! It was all worth it, though, this morning because Micah nearly passed out when he saw it. You must know that I attempt cake making with the same approach as gift wrapping: with gusto and little thought to end result. I usually do not have the proper supplies/tools for either task and get creative...using whatever I have on hand to get the job done! I have many times wrapped a gift in leftover fabric. Once I actually sewed the material on. So anyway, this cake started out as one thing and evolved into a pirate ship on water. Oy! In hindsight, there was probably a very simple way to do this and create a pirate ship. I used the trial and error method. Oh well! It does taste good and Micah was thrilled and that is all that matters.

Dori is spending the night with a friend so she will be free from "the boys." Three little boys are coming over and we are all so excited! We'll be having pizza, snacks, cake, ice cream sundaes---general junk and mayhem! Thankfully all are well, so we can finally celebrate my big boy.

I thought I would share some memories of my little Micah, as I think about his 7 years on earth so far.

---Micah took two full days to be born. When he finally came, he surprised us--nurses/midwife and all and didn't even cry.

---Micah used to fall asleep while I sang to him in his bed. He would look up at me with the biggest, sweetest eyes until they finally and slowly shut.

---Micah is a climber and I have caught him climbing on nearly every appliance or fixture in our house. Once he managed to figure out how to escape a baby netted tent over his crib. At 2, he had climbed on top of the net and got himself stuck between the top of the net and the crib slats. He didn't cry though, just sat there until I came to rescue him! Ha!

---Micah once put a play plate in the microwave and turned it on accidentally, resulting in a fire department visit.

---Micah tells me all the time that I am pretty and that he loves that I cook for him. This melts my heart.

---Micah gets excited about everything and usually his first words are, "Dori, Dori!!!"

---Micah once told me I better make up with Jason so I wouldn't have to live on the roof (we were reading through Proverbs at the time, LOL)

---When I first found out my Dad died and was overcome with grief and sadness....Micah brought me a tray which had a banana, and flower he picked from outside, and a chocolate. He put it on the bed beside me and just clung to me. He sneaked the chocolate a few minutes later! :)

Happy Birthday, my son! I love you precious one.

Spring has sprung! (AKA Easter 09)

2009-04-18T11:05:00.005-04:00

Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I finally have a moment to post about Easter. The bad news: somehow (I know, I know) there are no pictures of the children/family on Easter day. Many apologies to all the grandparents who have been waiting for those shots. I think I must've gotten too busy with dinner prep to think of taking pictures with my camera. I know there were photos taken....maybe by other relatives. Anyway, I do have *some* pictures. Just not of the typical "Sunday dress" ones. And I suppose it's just as well, sense this year the kids wore absolutely nothing new. I could blog a whole lot on how for many people the clothes are more important than the real reason for celebrating, but I will save it. Be thankful!

The above shot was taken quite a few weeks ago when the very first signs of spring showed up. The daffodils have been so pretty and of course, my Dori is the most beautiful thing in this picture. :)

LOL...this is a self-taken photo of Dori at Micah's second baseball game. She loves to shoot and also support her brothers ball efforts.

This is Micah at bat. Wow....baseball is really a big deal around here. I have a love/hate relationship with baseball. See, it's sort of like a lifestyle. You are at the beck and call of the coaches...they have your cell number, email, home phone. They call at any hour. They tell you practice has been called. They tell you practice is cancelled. They expect you to be there on time every time. Do I really need to elaborate on how I struggle with this? Last year was our first experience with baseball. Jason has been adamant that the boys play. And yes, they do absolutely LOVE playing and they are both quite good (this is James' first year). I guess it is weird to me since going to baseball games was not part of my childhood. ***side note: it is absolutely hilarious to watch James' 3 year old tball team in action. Oh wow....the ball is hit and like a pack of puppies, they all swarm together to chase it--falling and dirtying up their uniforms along the way. James finds me in the stands every 10 minute or so of his game and gives me a wave, thumbs up, and a smile. My heart melts.

I think Dori took this picture. Judson is lovin' on me and I him. He's so affectionate...just like James. He is talking about everything these days. His vocabulary consists of:

flowah---flower

reh-dee---ready....and he is usually preparing to jump in your arms while saying this

I wah pay---I want to play....usually said when he is being put down for a nap

I wah dat---I want that

I wah cup---I want cup

Dad-deeeee--Daddy

buh-dee--um....booty.

Well, this *was* actually at our Easter dinner, but after Judson had completely destroyed his outfit from church. Judder loves Aunt Amanda

Nanny, Jason, and Me

This is James' Easter basket

This is Dori's Easter Basket. She sewed on the "handle" and really wanted to use this for her basket. This year I included a bag of wildflower seeds for the children to plant. Anything to cut back on the amount of candy that is in the basket!

Micah's Easter basket.

Judson's Easter basket.

This year we were free of childhood illness! It was wonderful and also strange for us to celebrate Easter with Jason's family. We haven't been able to do that for almost 8 years, so it was really neat. I had to wake up SOOOOOO early and go to our church for the early service. I was impressed that Jason managed to dress all the children *and* get them there on time. Judson and James were without socks, lol, but they were clothed properly.

After church, we came back to the house and family began arriving around 1:45 for our 2pm eating time. We had a delicious meal and things were very relaxed, despite the ominous thunder clouds that were rolling in. We hid eggs in the house, and while I was explaining to the children about hunting eggs, cousins Mason and Emmy sneaked off and racked up! HAHAHA. James threw a fit about the eggs, mainly because he didn't understand that the eggs actually had candy in them. Whew, that was an interesting situation! The kids had fun, though, and shortly after the egg hunt and dessert, everyone parted ways and we relaxed and did pretty much nothing the rest of the afternoon and evening. It was great!

I'm sorry again for the lack of prettied up photos. I promise to do better next time. Hope you'll all forgive!

Eclectic Picture Set

2009-03-30T22:25:00.005-04:00

I was vacuuming, and Judson grabbed his "vacuum"....notice he is sporting Dori's PINK crocs. :D

Apparently Judson is quite happy in his oversized pink shoes and without pants.

These next 4 pictures are Dori and Micah playing with a toy called connectagons. They are so fun!

Ok, don't laugh. I had to take a picture for posterity's sake of some of the awesome deals I got at this week's grocery trip. Horizon organic milk marked down to $1.25 per 1/2 gallon; 2 free ritz boxes; Free Cascadian Farms organic granola bars; and Free gallon of Schnuck's milk. Yay for freebies!!!

At our local park a few weeks ago

This is Micah right before we ate Indian. I made Chicken Tikka Misala and it was so yummy!

I know you were just dying to see a picture of Chicken Tikka Misala, lol.

James and his bowl

Micah mashing potatoes. See, I told you this would be eclectic.

Little Judder decided to get into the cabinet that houses jars and glass rocks. He was practicing his counting!

Relinquishing control

2009-03-28T10:48:00.002-04:00

This weekend I originally planned on attending a two day conference that I had put on the calendar way back in February. Jason and I originally planned on attending a wedding Saturday night of one of his former students when he was first in youth minister. We originally planned on Micah's baseball practice Saturday morning. I originally planned on meeting with my friend Stephen to go over music Friday afternoon.

However, none of the above took place. This past week was such a grind. I left Monday to visit my dear friend Emily and her beautiful girls, and we had a wonderful time laughing, talking, and watching our children play. It was so refreshing and enjoyable. But from the moment I set foot at the church Wednesday night (we drove right in to church from our visit in Jackson), it seemed like everything was working against me and peace was being attacked from every angle.

I got irritated with Jason about something silly. He didn't feel good and so had little response when he saw us because he really had no energy. While we were gone he had loooong days and even nights with ministry stuff. So we were sort of clashing when we should have been excited and encouraged to see each other.

Thursday was really no different and in fact a little worse. J continued to physically feel bad and I was pressuring him and reminding him about all of our tasks for the weekend and making sure he was ready to keep the kids so I could go on the conference, etc.

Friday came and was J's day off. Things were starting to look up and not seem so overwhelming. The sun even came out for a while. I went out grocery shopping and came home in time to start dinner and get ready for the conference. But when I walked in, J was shivering. I took his temp and wouldn't you know, it was 102.

At first J said he would be fine and I could still go. I resisted, knowing how I would feel if I had 102 and still had to take care of the children. He said about 3 more times, "no, you go. I know you really want to. It will be ok. I will be ok." But I knew deep down, that the right thing was for me to stay home and care for my now sick hubby and the children. I told him I would stay and called my friends to let them know I was not going to be able to attend.

Truthfully, I have to say that my initial reaction to this change in events was not Godly or positive whatsoever. I kept my mouth shut about it, but those kinds of thought are just as insidious in the mind as expressed verbally.

This is SO unfair.
Why? Why does this always happen?!
My plans NEVER work out the way I want them to.

Those were some of the things I was thinking. But about 20 minutes after the decision had been made for me to stay home, the Lord spoke to me and reminded me of my high calling. He reminded me that I am not living this life for "my rights." He showed me that I can find joy in resting in Him and caring for my children and for Jason. Once I relinquished control of the situation, it freed me to enjoy it. Weird how that works, isn't it?

Also interesting to note: it is raining cats and dogs this morning, so Micah's coach called and canceled practice. I took J to an after hours clinic last night and he has strep, so the wedding is a no-go also. Funny how such a busy, busy weekend can suddenly turn into quiet, peaceful family time.

You would think I would have learned these lessons after all the sickness and home-bounded-ness (is that a word?!) we experienced *last* winter and spring. :)

I am truly thankful that God reminded me of the precious gift I have in being a wife and mother. Yes, it is hard and often times unnoticed or relentless. But it can be such a joyful, rewarding experience....if I relinquish control and rest in God's plan and not my own.

Day in the Life--March 16

2009-03-16T23:34:00.002-04:00

I woke up this morning to find my den, kitchen, and parts of the hallway entangled in James' "booby trap." He had taken a ball of Dori's yarn and wound it ever-so-carefully around every possible knob, handle, or hook he could find. This is my future CIA agent, I suppose. He does make me smile.

It was cold when I woke up, 60 degrees to be exact and I decided to start a fire in the wood stove, even though I knew it was supposed to warm up later. I couldn't resist the opportunity to take the chill off in the family room and kitchen because I really don't like a cold morning. The fire did not take long to get going and we all sat down to eat a quick breakfast of cereal and coffee, of course, for me. We had our Bible reading time and I reminded the children that our friends Mrs. Ann, Mrs. Pam, and their children would be coming today for a visit, so they needed to get there morning chores and school done quickly in order to have plenty of time to play.

I checked on the fire after breakfast and then cleaned Judson off and dressed him for the day. I started a load of darks and started running the mental checklist of things I needed to accomplish before my friends arrived.

Dori and Micah worked on their rooms for a while, since they did not want to be embarrassed by their friends seeing a messy room. This always work in my favor, when people visit. James tagged along with me most places I went to which included my bedroom to make the bed and tidy, and of course, get dressed for the day. I used some diaper wipes to "dust" all the flat surfaces in our bedroom and put away a bunch of clothes.

Dori and Micah got set up with their schooling in the kitchen and surprised me by completing their lessons without too much involvement on my part. I checked Micah's phonics and discovered he had a problem with one section, so we worked on fixing that and he went back to his room to continue straightening.

I forgot to mention that Judson hung out in baby jail for a while. That is the playpen for any non-parents out there. He had his bottle (I know, I'm a bad mom) and his books and a few toys so he was content.

Dori got angry with James over the yarn incident that occurred earlier and I had to break up an explosion. There were many more explosions to come between Micah and James, but that is normal.

I was able to quick clean both bathrooms of anything unsightly (cringe) and freshen everything, thankfully. I vacuumed Micah's very clean room and three other rooms, and thanked God again for my Dyson.

James spent most of his morning time playing with the playmobil and fighting with Micah. Then they played together. Then they fought. Then they played together. Then they punched each other. Whew. BOYS.

Dori quietly sneaked away into her now clean room and worked on various "projects" she has going on. These include knitting, scrapbooking, writing, journaling, reading, making a purse, and beading. She is a regular Martha Stewart!

Around 10am I frosted the cake I made my friend Ann. Today was her birthday, so a cake was needed! After that, I released Judder from baby jail and let him roam and play, which he did nicely. I stole a moment in time (or several moments) and went to the piano to work on a song I recently wrote. I stayed there for a while....well, at least until I heard screaming coming from the family room.

Jason called to check in.

Tried to drink more coffee but realized we were out of creamer.

Called Ann and begged her to stop and pick some creamer up for me.

She agreed.

And then around 11:30 the children began the incessant, "when will they be here." This lasted every 3 minutes until our friends thankfully arrived at 12:30. I was so happy when they got here.

My friend Ann made pulled pork BBQ and it was SO GOOD. ALL CAPS so good. My friend Pam brought cole slaw that was really great, too, and she won major brownie points with Jason, b/c she left him a bowl.

We all gathered and ate and it was just so delicious. The boys commenced sword fighting and pirating and robin-hood-ing. James broke up the fun every so often with cries that someone was being unfair to him. Poor guy, he struggles handling life right now. Such a sensitive lil feller.

We ladies chatted and laughed and had a great visit. It is so nice to get together during the day with other women. I was so blessed to relax and have a good time with Pam and Ann.

Sometime after 3pm the sun peaked through the clouds and we all rejoiced! The children went outside and ran through the woods, leaving poor Maggie crying her eyes out and scared. Dori rescued her by running to me and Ann telling us that something was wrong. Of course, Ann and I thought the worst and took off like two wild women screeching and yelling to the top of our lungs and surely raising some eyebrows at my neighbors house. HA! Ann grabbed her cell phone just in case we needed 911...she's so on top of things like that.....so unlike me!

We were greatly relieved to find out that Maggie had only been scared, but the boys got a tongue lashing about leaving her alone and everyone had to come in closer to the house so we could see them.

After Ann left, I got the children seated at the kitchen table for dinner and Jason came home. I shoved a quick bite in and then left for music practice at our church. We are doing an Easter musical presentation, so we've been having extra practices on Monday evenings.

I left a tired Jason in charge around 6 and took Dori with me, because she was invited to spend the night with a friend.

I met my friend Angela in the parking lot of the church and said good bye to a very excited Dori.
Music practice took about an hour and a half and I enjoyed it, as I always do. I wear these really goofy looking headphones so I can hear the keyboard and sometimes we play tracks and I can listen through my headphones really, really loud. Tonight we were listening to a rockin' song called "Hosanna" and I was kind of zoning out with it so loud in my ears. It was so good!

After practice, I called to check on J and everything was fine. It was quiet. I drove home and loved and kissed all my boys.

It has been a great day. I'm thankful to God for this day.

Recent pictures

2009-03-09T16:45:00.004-04:00

Judson with crazy hair. No, not static electricity! 17 months

My precious Dori. 8 years

I just HAD to capture this: Mom playing blocks on the floor with James during their last visit. They are deeply concentrated. :)

Olivia and Judson at cousin Mary Thomas' birthday party. Chuck E. Cheese fun! Olivia was so sweet to Judson and cared for him, which really helped me out.

Cousins! Dori and Olivia.

Sisters! Anne Elizabeth and me.

Pappaw getting suckered into feeding Judson multiple pieces of cake!

Sisters! Mary Dabney and me.

Judson and Mama Linda.

James' shenanigans.

Heavy

2009-03-09T16:26:00.002-04:00

No, this post title is not a declaration of my body size! Ha! I couldn't think of any other title that adequately sums up how I am feeling today. And since I'm a woman and all, full of those pesky "feelings"---this is what you are gonna get.

Have you ever felt a heaviness in your spirit? Like you are weighted down with a burden for someone or something in your life? Sometimes this feeling comes over me in the middle of the night and God compels me to pray. It is almost like a spiritual battle that is taking place and I'm drawn in by the His Spirit to join in prayer. These times are draining. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about and have been there yourself.

Today many things are going through my mind. People, relationships, memories, some grief, questions, scripture...it's all floating through. I am doing my very best to relinquish control and surrender to whatever it is that God is working out in me by bringing these things to mind. I think sometimes one of the hardest parts of life is the not knowing or the not understanding. For example, one of the things I am thinking about today is that I simply cannot process certain events that have taken place over the last year. I simply cannot. Perhaps I am too weak minded. Perhaps I am only allowed tiny moments in time to really think about such things because God knows I cannot handle it. I don't know. All I do know is that I have tried to obey God with my life and accept where this path has taken me.....and not think too heavily about the whys and hows of it all until a day like today comes along and I am forced to.

I'm sorry for the dark post, but that is just where I am currently. Will post some pictures in the next post---hopefully that will cheer...

SERVE

2009-03-05T12:35:00.005-05:00

That was the theme of Longview Heights Baptist Church Ladies Retreat. Wow, was that such an awesome weekend! I was honored to be asked to lead the worship for this special retreat and had a fantastic time laughing, praising, fellow-shipping, learning, and getting to know special women. The Lord was gracious to provide this weekend in the midst of winter and the doldrums that come with waiting for spring. In the weeks leading up to the retreat, I felt a nervous excitement about both leading in worship and also hearing from God through the speaker, Margaret Kennedy.

It did not disappoint!

This is a picture of me on the Thursday before the weekend started. I stopped to breathe for just a moment and take a shot of myself for posterity's sake, so I would remember the thrill and craziness of that day:

Right at that moment, I had checked and double-checked my packing list about a million times. I'm prone to forget important items, so this was a bit nerve-wracking to me. However, as you can see, I was so happy to leave a day earlier than our ladies and get going on a fabulous weekend with no cooking, cleaning, or child-care responsibilities. Who wouldn't be thrilled?!

We traveled to Pickwick, TN and stayed at the hotel and conference center there. I rode up with Julie Stewart, our Women's Ministries director. She and I had a great visit on the two hour drive and excitement abounded.

At this point, I must confess that a huge hurdle for me personally was the setting up of the sound system and media devices. Now, I know that I am a musician and have plenty of experience with all sorts of music/worship/bands, etc. However, up until this point in my life, I haven't had the weighty (I mean this literally) pleasure of putting up a sound system. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, my friend and co-conspiritor Debbie Grear, gave me detailed instruction on this sound system process. I took detailed notes. I went over and over all the equipment when we loaded up, to make sure I didn't forget some very important cord or direct box. I usually don't sweat stuff, but I must tell you I was plain old scared that I would somehow mess this up! Debbie, God bless her, assured me she would be on standby with her ever present iphone to guide me through the treacherous process of hooking everything up.

And she was.

I know this because I believe I called her no less than 50 times during the set up. Can I just say right here that I have new found love, respect, and admiration for the "sound guys?" These people are so essential to a musician it's almost unbelievable...and now, having experienced set up all by myself, and breaking into a complete sweat carrying, hauling, plugging, lifting, etc.....well, let's just say I want to keep my "sound guys" happy!

Once I actually completed the roughly 6 hour process of sound/media set up, I stopped to wipe the sweat off and breathe a huge prayer of thanksgiving to God for success and for Debbie--In that order and seriousness.

One hundred and thirty two lovely ladies of all ages began to show up Friday afternoon at 4pm. One of the things I was so impressed with was the variety of ages and walks of life of our women. Our "50 and better" crowd was every bit as fun, participatory, and energetic as our single young'uns. Probably we mothers of little ones were the most sluggish---still in shock we were without them for an entire weekend and wandering around with dazed looks on our faces marveling at our clothes with no grubby finger stains, and food that was not thrown or spat on us!

Friday evening we all convened for a "Pajama Parade." This is were all the craziness began. Some folks were really creative with this competition (oh yes, we had judges) dressing up as Lucy and Ethel, "sleeping beauties", or dressing in identical pajama sets. But the absolute *best* moment, was when one of our dear "50 and better" ladies paraded up on stage unassuming and with dignity and then just at the right moment, turned to her side and slid her long nightie slowly up her side and to the knee---all to the cheers and complete hysteria of every single lady in the room! How much fun we all had and what a fantastic start to sweet fellowship with women.

Julie welcoming everyone and preparing us for the pajama parade

Me and my friend Claudia in our pj's! Notice please that my pj's look more like lounge wear than real pj's....I like multi-functional clothing!

A shot of some of our ladies in there pj's on stage.

I can't say I've ever led worship in my pajamas.....or even participated in any sort of public worship whatsoever in my pj's, but that is what we did! And our Godly speaker, Margaret, agreed that she had likewise never spoken in public in her pj's! Her first message was to tell us a "bedtime story" of Dorcas from the word and her unique giftings and service to God and her community. We were blessed with this word from God.

Worship in our pj's! These other two ladies are Pam Stout and Pam Marsee. They have such sweet spirits and sang with me throughout the weekend....uh, also in their pj's Friday night!

Saturday morning came TOO early, what with all the shenanigans going on half the night with grown women you would've thought were merely high schoolers. Oh my. It is probably not prudent to disclose what all went on, but let's just say that lots of giggling and carrying on ensued. And on a serious note, many were able to open up and connect, myself included, with new friends and sisters in Christ.

Saturday's talks from Margaret were Heavy. Capital H. She packed in point after point from the word and spoke openly and authentically about her life and walk with God. We listened and gleaned from her so many truths....about surrendering fully to God and letting go of whatever we are hanging on to that we think will get us somewhere in this life. It was powerful and of course emotional for so many of us.

A shot of Saturday worship time.

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This is my new friend Amy Krumalis, who also just moved to the area due to her husband joining Longview staff like Jason. And to my right is sweet and ever funny, Pam M.

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These lovely ladies were my roomies for the weekend. "Sun Sisters"--had to be there! Ann Clifton, Pam Marsee, and Tabitha Rogers. Oh what fun we had in room 217! Ann so thoughtfully surprised us with cute bags filled with items we might need throughout the weekend (chocolate mainly--b/c we definitely needed that! Also pens, notebooks, tissues, etc.). I love these ladies!

This is a shot of a group of ladies investigating some things in the Bible on Friday night.

I am so thankful to God that He allowed me to be a part of "Serve Retreat." It was wonderful and refreshing. I can't wait to go again next year!

Still here.....

2009-03-05T11:59:00.002-05:00

Hello! This is your very busy Mama here. Just a quick note to say I realize I am behind on blogging and am, in fact, working on a few blogs as I type this. Stay tuned....

Love to all!

Home-school Series Part 4

2009-02-12T12:36:00.003-05:00

Most days, "book work" will take 1 to 2 hours to complete. I've heard that home-schooling is much easier without little ones underfoot, but since I have always had a little one hanging around, I have nothing to compare. It is a challenge to work it all in and out! Last year, James was hard to deal with, as he was whiny and in those "terrible twos." I would put him in his high chair while Dori and Micah sat at the table with me and I would try desperately to keep James quiet and occupied long enough to read instructions to the kids. Playdoh is indespensible for this, as are the "special" coloring books that only come out during school time. This year, I have noticed that James is more into sitting down at the table with us and actually likes to color and pretend that he is having lessons, too. He learns peripherally this way, but I do get frustrated with the constant interruptions.

Math is easy for the kids to do on their own (I check answers), and only when new concepts are taught do I come into the picture. Micah loves math and Dori does not like it at all! She is like me. I usually try to get her to get it out of the way first and then she can enjoy the rest of her work.

There are so many choices out there for home-schooling curriculum. At first I found it overwhelming and had not a clue where to begin. I asked veteran HS moms and researched on the net, reading reviews and looking at catalogs and websites. My criteria for a HS curriculum was simple: inexpensive and easy to use. I really, really liked Sonlight, which is reading intensive and gets awesome reviews. However, we felt that it would be way too pricey since we would have to purchase several "core" programs. I do receive a catalog from Sonlight, yearly, that I store with my home-schooling materials, as it contains yet another fantastic reading list.

I know a ton of folks who use programs like A beka or Bob Jones with great success. This is more of a textbook/workbook approach and I have been impressed with the quality of the few materials I have used (workbook here and there).

I also like the philosophy behind Classical education. Here is a definition of classical education taken from "The Well-Trained Mind" by Jessie Wise and Susan Wise Bauer: Classical education depends on a three-part process of training the mind. The early years of school are spent in absorbing facts, systematically laying the foundations for advanced study. In the middle grades, students learn to think through arguments. In the high school years, they learn to express themselves. This classical pattern is called the trivium.

I researched Tapestry of Grace, a classical curriculum that gets rave reviews, but decided against it for now, even though I absolutely love the concept and material covered.

I decided against it mainly because I know myself, and know that I would struggle with the amount of teacher prep work involved. From what I can tell it is extremely labor intensive on the mama--not what I need at this stage in my life!

So what did I settle on? A little Mennonite company called Rod and Staff.

Someone gave me several Rod and Staff English books when Dori was about 4, and to be honest, I thought they were sort of boring looking and old fashioned. I kept them, though, and one day while I was cleaning out the "homeschool cabinet," I noticed them and really took a good look at it. It was sweet...and also thorough. I mean, there weren't any colorful graphics or really any bells and whistles, but I was intrigued. I began to research reviews online and discovered that for the most part, all sorts of folks were happy with this company. Once I realized that the entire 1st grade package was cheaper than the teacher guide for Sonlight, I was sold. We use Rod and Staff Phonics, English, Math, and writing. It is extremely simple and so far we are really happy. I have to plug Rod and Staff's "kindergarten" curriculum, because it is so awesome, in my opinion. I bought this for Micah last year and he absolutely loved it.
I think the whole thing is about $20 and you get the sweetest little workbooks that are so much more than a glorified coloring book. These workbooks really helped Micah with his motor skills and the basics of writing. He didn't even want to pick up a crayon until he was 5!

In addition to Rod and Staff for math and language, I have used Oak Meadow this year to supplement where I see a need.
Oak Meadow is a secular holistic curriculum, loosely based on Waldorf education. Now the Waldorf stuff is out there. I love the emphasis on limiting screen time, using natural materials, art, music and including children in your daily home upkeep (like cooking and cleaning). But...and this is a huge BUT, lol, all the fairy stuff and weird anthroposophical stuff is totally contrary to our Judeo-Christian belief system. I will probably not purchase Oak Meadow again next year, but I'm glad for the experience we've had so far this year. Things I like about Oak Meadow: Weekly assignments as opposed to daily assignments; helps me with coming up with crafts; strong emphasis on art; laidback and not academic intensive. I skip all the weird stuff, and pull from it what I think will work for us.

Finally, as I mentioned in the previous post, I am a big fan of amblesideonline.com. At first I guffawed at thinking of using a free online curriculum. I mean surely that must be sub-par, right? But I have since waken up to the fact that it is solid and thorough. I am *very* loosely using this, and did the same last year, but suspect that I will probably rely heavily on this curriculum next year. I am still new to home-schooling and getting my feet wet, but I think if I'm honest, I would love to use this curriculum exclusively.

Some pictures:

This was taken a couple of weeks ago right after Micah lost his front tooth. He has since lost the tooth next to it, as well.

This is a picture of Micah doing his phonics lesson from Rod and Staff.

This is a picture of Dori doing her Rod and Staff Math. It looks like we forgot to brush hair this morning!

This picture cracks me up. This is James' spot while we home-school. He usually colors, but many times "builds towers" with these homemade crayons I made melting broken crayon bits together in molds. James builds the tower and then knocks it down and starts over.

On Reading--Home school series part 3

2009-02-11T15:35:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the delay in posting. Our church hosted a Ladies Retreat this past weekend that I was blessed to attend. I'll be blogging about it soon, with pictures!

Some of the best advice I ever received from veteran home-schooling moms was to read to my kids as much as possible and let that be my first priority. This seems like such elementary advice, and yet, I have found that I get tempted to rely heavily on bookwork and "assignments" to teach, more-so than learning from reading good books and trusting in that old principal that if you teach a child to love to read he will love to learn.

There are days where it is incredibly hard to be home with all 4 kids and bear the responsibility of educating them, plus caring for their daily needs. I'm just being honest! There are days where I feel totally overwhelmed and fear I am not meeting educational needs. Then there are other days that I watch with wonder as the children repeat to me all sorts of facts that, get this, I didn't teach them. It is all from the wonderful books they read. Of course, this sort of thing can happen regardless of whether or not you home-school, I'm just laying the foundation for how I feel about reading.

Those days where everything is overwhelming and unexpected things happen are the kind of days that I will gather all 4 kids on the couch and snuggle up with a good book. I couldn't express enough how important I think it is to read to your children and teach them to love reading. One way to help them learn to love to read is to surround them with really good books.

One of my favorite online resources for home-schooling which includes a phenomenal book list is amblesideonline.com. This website is a free curriculum guide for home-schoolers based on the educational method of Charlotte Mason. I confess I do not use it (at this point) for more than the awesome book list, so cannot speak about the actual curriculum, but the book list is fantastic. The books are timeless, interesting, challenging and so helpful in identifying books that our children do not need to miss out on reading. I have printed the list many times (it is sort of grade-based) and taken it to my local library and almost always the librarian will comment on what good selections the list contains.

I use "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons " by Siegfried Englemann to teach the basics of reading. It is a simple, dialogue based book that I have had great success using with both Dori and Micah. The lessons take about 15-20 minutes a day to complete. I think I started around 3ish with Dori, which was WAY too young, and around 4 1/2 with Micah. They have learned to read at different ages and paces, and I think that is normal. I haven't done anything formal with James yet. Learned my lesson with Dori. ;)

As soon as Dori learned to read at a level without too much stopping and starting, I encouraged her to read to her brothers and to read out loud to me. I know there are people out there that think this is somehow wrong for me to have Dori read to her brothers, but I disagree. She gets practice and they bond. They have been doing this for quite awhile, although I think it is about time for Micah to branch off and start reading aloud or to James. Actually, now that I think about it, this may not work as they fight like cats and dogs. Maybe he could read to Judson?

I'm planning on posting once more on the home-schooling topic, then have a slew of other things to blog about that have been on my mind--such as: the Ladies Retreat (with pictures); modest swimwear (I know this is random, but there ya go); and some misc. photos of things we have been doing lately.

Home school series Part 2

2009-01-29T15:54:00.004-05:00

Before I get into the academics of it all, I want to share some of my educational philosophy. I think it is extremely important for children to have large chunks of creative playtime every day. By creative playtime I mean playing that is free from any screen (tv, computer, etc.) noises or distractions.

Children are naturally creative. You do not have to teach a child how to make up stories or how to play house. They just know how to do it! Now, if a child never has any creative playtime built into their day, it might take a little prodding to get him or her to engage the imagination, but it can be done. I know from experience that if given a choice between watching tv/playing a video game/playing on the computer and playing freely without any screen, my kids will *always* choose the screen. The screen entertains. The screen has the sounds and colors. It is fun to sit back and let the screen tell the story. You get my drift. But once I tell them they have to play, it doesn't take long for those creative juices to flow and for my den to turn into a castle, store, restaurant, hotel, or for a war to break out and little native Americans to start running past me complete with bow and arrows.

My kids absolutely amaze me with what they come up with as a game or story or fun thing to do. I believe if children are given the opportunity, they will create out of anything, be it blocks, paper, rocks, legos, whatever. I don't think you have to have much for them to have a good time. We all know how well big boxes go over and how much fun it is to turn kitchen chairs and tables into forts and tents. My personal favorite free playthings are found outside. I just love it when the kids get sticks or leaves or acorns or whatever and create.

I think it is crucial to have this creative play regularly going on in order to stimulate the mind. I would feel this way regardless of whether or not I home schooled. If I sent the kids to school, I would make sure creative play was a vital part of the day. People can get bogged down in academics and making sure their children are well-educated, and might miss this easy, wonderful aspect of learning. I'll be so sad when the make-believe days are over!

A normal day for our family has a slow start. If you know me, you know why this is the case. We have breakfast and Bible reading and the kids do their "morning chores." Then, somewhere around 8:30 or 9:00, I send them into the den for screen-free playing. Sit down-schooling begins at 10. HOWEVER, Judson just recently quit napping in the morning. So....we have been trying out sit-down school in the afternoons. I'm all about whatever works for the family is what you should do.

I find my children gravitate to open ended toys--things that can be used to *be* anything. Examples of excellent open ended toys are blocks, legos, tinker toys, play cloths, and playmobil. Two Christmases ago I made a set of playsilks. I ordered large blank white silk squares very cheaply from Dharma trading Company and then dyed them using Wilton cake food colors. My hands were red for a few days after, lol, but those silks have been played with more than any other toy. They have been turned into Indian saris, belts to hold weapons (who do you think does this?), pirate head wraps, baby blankets, pretend casts, and on and on.

Recently, we received a gift card to a fantastic educational store in Memphis called The Knowledge Tree. Dori and I went to check things out and we were both floored with everything this store offers. I think it is primarily for teachers, but since I teach my kids, I found everything so useful and wonderful. It was so hard to select gifts for the kids. We must've stayed in the store close to two hours! But finally we were able to narrow it down and I think we chose some pretty awesome stuff.

Here is a set of pictures of the kids playing with Micah's present from The Knowledge Tree. These are called "Cherry Tree Blocks" and were actually on Micah's Christmas list this year, but they didn't make the cut. Dori and I both squealed when we saw them and so that choice was very easy. Jason's Dad, aka Grandpops, happened to be over for a visit when I returned from the shopping trip, so he helped construct this awesome tree house/fort:

I thought it turned out pretty cool! Micah said it was a fort and used some of his playmobil "guys" as warriors.

Here the red guy is holding up the poor princess. We're still working on the rules of war. Like no holding up the womenfolk.

In this picture you can see how all three kids got into fort building. It didn't take long after Micah's tree house was built for James and Dori to follow suit with the other blocks we have to create their own fortresses.

This isn't really related to my post, but it is Judson's present from The Knowledge Tree. It is sort of like a geometric toy. It changes from triangle to 3d cube. Cool!

Judson likes it!

This is a picture of James on another day playing with his trains. I forgot to mention those in the list of excellent open ended toys, but they should definitely be there. We bought this set second hand last Christmas for very little.

In addition to playtime being important in our house, so also is seasonal decorating. This is something I have eased into, once I realized that celebrating holidays and decorating and all that are a big part of regular schooling. I am slowly accumulating items to use to give our home a little flair just like regular school classrooms enjoy. Here is a picture of some Valentine's decorations. We are also working on a project this week to make various shades of pink and red paper chains to go along with the Vday theme. Fun!

And finally, I'll close with a picture of Dori, Judson, and Micah. One night a few weeks ago I walked by Micah's room and as usual, Dori was hanging out there before bed. The kids are given reading time with lights on before bed most nights. I was carrying Judson to his bed, but stopped in to say goodnight to D and M and Judson was insistent to get in bed with them! I let him and went to the kitchen to finish tidying up. When I came back, all three were "reading" books and I ran to get my camera. It was so sweet. However, once I made it back, Judson was too interested in the camera and so this picture was the result:

The next post will be all about reading. Stay tuned...

Series of Posts on Home Schooling

2009-01-20T22:38:00.002-05:00

I thought it would be neat to blog about the part of my (our) life that contains home schooling. I have a lot of thoughts on this, but also wanted to create some picture heavy posts on what our home schooling day actually looks like, too.

For starters, a little background is needed. I was public schooled for elementary, junior, and senior high. Jason was public schooled for elementary, junior, and senior high. There are many positive things I could say about my public school experience, and also many negatives. But this is not meant to be an opinion post on different schooling choices, so I'll just leave it at that, so you will know where I'm coming from. I had a desire to home school starting as early as Dori's birth, but I really don't know why I thought about it or wanted to do it. Perhaps at its most basic, it was a desire to keep my children with me....maybe a purely selfish thing. I don't really know, and at this point, not certain it is all that important. However, it must be noted here that my husband has always been Pro whatever makes his wife happy, so that is how he comes into the picture.

I started out very eagerly when Dori was in Kinder and Micah 4 years old. I was one big ball o' stress. I had no real plan and a hodge podge of materials either given to me from other home schoolers or acquired as leftovers from friends who had children in public or private school. We had just moved to RI and I was not recognizing the very real stress that a big move puts on a family. I did not feel confident, and feared daily that my children would grow up to be unintelligent dolts who forever blamed me for their shortcomings!

In one particular stressed and frantic weekend, I decided on a whim that putting Dori in public kinder would solve all my problems. I just knew that putting her in school would take the burden off of me for her education and that my life would suddenly smooth out into perfect little homemaker bliss. I was certain of this. As I said above, Jason is in the camp of "make wife happy" so he was ok, too. In a matter of days, Dori was signed up and starting. We met her teacher, a wonderful dear who to this day we speak of occasionally with love and admiration. We bought snacks and a lunch box. I read the paperwork. Excitement abounded! And then a whole 'nother can of worms was opened.

Hurry, brush your teeth. Dori, you forgot your backpack. MICAH GET UP WE HAVE TO TAKE DORI TO SCHOOL. Mom I don't have my book that I was supposed to bring today. Tears. Hurry up, we're going to be late. I don't want to do this homework. WAHHHHHH. Mom, if you pay $97 they will give you all these pictures of me on keychains. I need to wear pink today, mom. MICAH GET UP WE HAVE TO TAKE DORI TO SCHOOL. Mom, Mrs. X says we need to bring in $5 today for lunch. And on and on it went until she was finally done in June!

It didn't end all my problems. Yes, it solved some, but created others. The whole experience was quite useful, though, because I learned that I truly did desire to home school Dori. I realized that I was doing okay, after all, and that I was on the right track--I just needed a clear plan. I realized that problems come with any schooling choice and parents have to decide which option works best for them. Thankfully, I'm able to home school my kids (at least for now) and until it is no longer is the right choice for us...we'll continue.

Home schooling can be a touchy subject for some people. I don't think it has to be, though. It's just a schooling choice. An option. I know there are those out there that believe God wants them to home school (I'm not gonna argue with you), or those that think that home schooling is wrong (you have a right to your opinion). Our personal view is to let families make their own choices and leave it at that. I'm not threatened in any way when I find out friends have their kids in public or private school--they have their reasons which are personal and real. I certainly hope I don't threaten anybody when they find out we home school.

More to come soon......

Two perspectives

2009-01-14T06:40:00.003-05:00

I'm up early this morning because I've had a fitful night of sleep. Sometimes you have those nights where the mind doesn't shut off. Last night I remembered something that happened a year and a half ago in Rhode Island that I thought was blog-worthy.

I was hugely pregnant with Judson, probably in the ninth month, when I came down with some sort of sickness. This required a trip to the doctor and subsequent trip to the pharmacy. It just so happened that I needed to take all 3 children with me to Wal-mart, and I remember thinking in the back of my mind that I bet I was a sight. You start to be a little self-conscience of these things when you get to kid #3--much more so with kid #4!

I walked, or rather, waddled over to the Pharmacy and stood in line. James was sitting in the front part of the cart and Micah and Dori were holding on to the right side and standing there quietly. I remember being very proud of them because no one was asking me for anything and they were all being still.

I handed my script to the lady and went to take a seat and wait. A few moments later, out walks a woman I would guess in her 60s with yellow-blonde hair. She asked me a question about the script, which I answered and then I think it dawned on her that I was hugely pregnant and shopping at Wal-mart with my 3 other children. The look on her face told me she was about to say *something*. And she did:

"Are all these yours???"
I smiled.
"Yes. They are all mine."

"WHYYYYY?????"

I think the people in the very back restroom probably heard her! She was so serious and apparently really wanted to know why, because she stood there for another 30 seconds more staring me down, waiting for her answer. Now, some days, that type of intrusive and rude question would be met with a quick, curt answer or maybe no answer at all. But for some reason, that particular day, I was so overjoyed and happy to be with my children and excited about the looming new critter coming....well, I just smiled back at her and said simply, "we kinda like kids."

She left us shaking her head back and forth the whole way. I browsed the vitamin row while we waited for the prescription to be filled and almost giggled at how angry the sight of my big ole pregnant self and three small children had made a perfect stranger. It really was funny! About that time, I noticed a man in his 70s sitting on the bench watching us. I thought, "oh no! Here we go again." But then I saw that he was smiling at us. His wife was next to him and I heard them talking and I knew they were talking about us. I kept looking at the vitamins and talking quietly to the kids, telling them how much I love them and keeping James from grabbing the kiddie vitamins. I didn't want my poor children to believe that it was somehow bad that they were born, you know. And then this kind gentleman actually called me over to him.

I rolled the cart next to the bench preparing myself for another chastisement, but I was met, instead, by the most wonderful words:

"Ms...You have a beautiful family here. Your children are so sweet and they all look like each other."
He turned to his wife and said, "Honey, look how wonderful they all are. And look, she's got another one coming."

Oh, how I could have kissed this sweet gentleman and his lovely wife! What joy they brought me be commenting on my family. What a blessing they were to my children after hearing such ugly remarks! I told this man that his words had made my day.

Remembering them now has given me joy once again.

Grown-up Booklist and Reviews

2009-01-09T14:55:00.005-05:00

Books I've read recently and what I think of them:

1. The Wednesday Letters by Jason F. Wright. I would classify this book as light reading, although it touches on heavy issues at times throughout. It is a fictional account of the journey a family takes when they discover, after both parents die, hundreds of letters their father had written to their mother each Wednesday. I don't usually read books like this, but found that I had a hard time putting it down. At times it is a bit unbelievable, but if you let yourself simply enjoy the emotions it brings, you will be better for reading it. I give it a thumbs up!

2. It's Here.....Somewhere by Alice Fulton and Pauline Hatch. Excellent. This is a book filled with practical tips and solutions for those who want to get out from under the weight (sometimes literally!) of clutter. The authors' mantra is to streamline possessions first, then organize whatever is left. I've read a lot, I mean A LOT of organizational type books in my life. This one is by far the most practical and helpful, in my opinion. I am not a born organized type, so I need practical, easy to use advice. I also really like how the authors think outside the box and give suggestions for home organization that challenge the way we've always thought things are supposed to be done. It's Here....Somewhere is creative, helpful, and easy to read. Two thumbs up.

3. The Children's Year by Stephanie Cooper, Christine Fynes-Clinton and Marye Rowling. This wonderful book is completely packed with seasonal crafts and projects for both children and families. It is *not* your typical craft book, however, and offers everything from old fashioned toy-making ideas (Jacob's Ladder, wooden baby rattles, rag dolls) to handmade quality clothing items (knitted baby bonnets, smocks, and mittens). There is so much I could say about The Children's Year! The authors have gone to great lengths to provide projects that enlist the help of young children and at the same time produce items that are both beautiful and many times functional. Some of my favorite ideas and projects we are attempting:

"The Plank"--simply buy a long board (they provide dimensions) and sand and oil to death to make an open ended plaything for outdoors. Could be a see-saw, could be a bridge, or whatever children decide.

"Magic Ball of Wool"--wrap small objects (charms, candy, stickers, etc) with knitting yarn so that as a child knits, the objects are revealed. I actually think this idea comes from the Victorian days, but it is such a cute fun way to encourage knitting. Dori has started to knit, so I'm thinking this would be a great Christmas present next year.

"Tissue Paper Stars"--These are colorful, folded just so stars that are meant to be hung in windows to brighten a room. I have some kite paper just waiting for the right rainy day. :)

"Card Stands"--Small pieces of wood with slits cut into them for standing up and displaying a special card. I just loved this idea and Pappaw was so kind to find some scrap wood pieces for us and even sawed the slits in. This will be a wonderful project for Micah, who needs hands-on activity as much as I can provide. It will be simple enough (sanding and oiling) to complete several at a time and feel a sense of accomplishment.

As you can tell, I really enjoyed reading this book! The authors' sparked my creative side and have a knack for using items already found in nature to create lovely items that everyone in the family can enjoy.

Books I have started, but not finished:

1. Don't Be a Slave to Housework by Pam McClellan. I'm finding it difficult to finish this book, even though I'm almost there! Perhaps the other clutter book was just so good, this one didn't appeal as much. This book is all about how you can have a wonderfully clean home and have a life, too. There are, of course, many tips and a breakdown of personality types and reasons why people do what they do (perfectionist, procrastinator, housework hater). I have found this book a little bland, but useful, nonetheless.

2. The Reason for God Belief in an Age of Skepticism by Timothy Keller. Interesting. This book Jason and I started over the holidays. So far, I like it. Keller deals with tough questions presented by modern day skeptics by answering arguments in a methodical, thoughtful manner. His writing style is clear, but not dumbed down. We are really enjoying this book and I look forward to reading the rest of it. Very insightful.

3. Dare to Discipline by James Dobson. Okay, I know I'm way behind the times on this one, but honestly I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I know folks who both love and well....let's say severely dislike, Dobson. I don't know what camp I'm in, but will admit he has annoyed me many times. My honest impression so far, is that he has some good ideas--nothing revolutionary or earth shattering--but good solid principles, that he presents as part of his case for disciplining children. He promotes both spanking and some other strange neck squeeze thing. Uh...not totally clear on that, but I think I'll stick with spanking if and when needed. I find Dobson to be wordy (I know, I know....I'm the wordiest of them all!) at times and catch myself skimming to the next big point. This might be the only way I've read the book to this point. Sometimes he wears out the psychological side a too much for my taste, but so far, I'd have to say this is a useful book. He supports unconditional parental love and affection and also supports firm, clear boundaries for children. I will most likely finish the book, but I suspect it will take me some time, as it just doesn't draw me in. I think there are plenty of better parenting books out there for the Christian parent, but it seems to be a solid, if basic, book. Hey, it beats out some of the shall-remain-nameless quacks out there writing that their brand of parenting is God's way.

Checked out and waiting to be read:

1. Screamfree Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel. I picked up this book because I unfortunately raise my voice too much and too often with my children. About two years ago I made a New Year's Resolution to never yell at my kids. Well, of course, I haven't kept that resolution 100%, but I was able to cut down dramatically on yelling in times of stress or in the midst of crazy kid situations. I noticed this book on the shelf and it look interesting and I am constantly praying about the way I respond to my kids so....I'm excited to find out what's in this book. I just looked at the back cover and realized that it appears to be written from a scriptural perspective. Yay. Even better! I'm looking forward to reading this and hopefully identifying ways to respond calmly and correctly to my children.

2. Parents and Children The role of the parent in the education of the child by Charlotte Mason. I have been interested in Charlotte Mason for a while but have yet only read about her. I picked up this book so I could say I read it straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak. Charlotte Mason (1842-1923) had a lot of interesting ideas about children and education and is regularly quoted by home schoolers. Here is what is listed on the back of this book: "Charlotte Mason on leading a child to abundant life: The child brings with him into the world, not character, but disposition. His character...is original disposition, modified, directed, expanded by education; by circumstances; later, by self-control and self-culture; above all, by the supreme agency of the Holy Ghost. Charlotte Mason was 100 years ahead of her time in developing an educational philosophy that stressed bringing broad and stimulating education to a child in a noncompetitive, biblically based way. Mason's timeless, practical insights and her stress on the responsibility of the home have made her a founding influence in the home schooling movement." Hmmm. Should be an interesting and I bet tiring read. :)

3. Protecting the Gift Keeping children and teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) by Gavin De Becker. I do not really know much about this book other than the title. I heard it recommend once a long time ago and noticed it on the bookshelf at the library. My guess is that it will be useful, but might also have the possibility to scare the ever-living daylights outta me.

A day in the life....

2009-01-08T15:20:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I think about my life and wish certain things were different (don't we all?). Then other times, I breathe in deeply and thank God for His perfect provision for me. I may not be the most organized person. I may not have it all together. But I really, really like my life and I'm thankful to God for each new day I'm given.

I like Jason's work schedule. It's a bit odd, but then, we've always had a nontraditional family schedule and work schedule. He works Mondays, Wednesdays, and every so often Fridays from 8ish to 5ish. On Tuesdays and Thursdays he goes in around 11 and comes home anywhere from 8 to 9pm. I enjoy that those days are more relaxed for us as a family and since I home school, the kids are here and get to spend time with Dad. As some of you know, I'm not a morning person. It has been a struggle for as long as I can remember to get up early. I'm thankful for God's provision for me in giving me a husband who enjoys getting up early. And I really, really love how we can have a slow start to our mornings on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Today Judson woke up first (as he usually does) and Jason brought him into our nice warm bed to snuggle a bit before really getting up. Jason and Judson have a neat relationship! Judson is *many* times going to his dad for comfort over me. This is new for us, but I think it is sweet that they are tight, lol. I just love Judson and his snuggling ways.

Judson dozed off and on for about an hour and then Jason got up and carried him into the kitchen for breakfast. I got to snooze a little longer. See how my husband is so gracious and kind to me????:)

About that time, James came in to snuggle with me (as he usually does). I turned on the tv so he could watch a little bit of cartoons. Eventually he left the warmth of the bed for more interesting adventures like finding his bullet and getting his gun set up. This is a daily ritual.

Dori came in not too long after, and reminded me via a message from Dad, that I had to go to Longview today to meet with my friend Debbie to learn all about how to set up a sound system. I pulled myself out of bed and tried to get ready as quickly as possible to meet Debbie.

I made a mental note that I am in bad need of major organization in the clothing department. We have too much and not a good system for the clothing we have. I got convicted that I need more organization and stewardship in this area. I prayed for God to help me have victory.

I did not eat breakfast but Jason made me a mug of coffee for the road. I said goodbye to everyone and quickly left for the 20 minute ride to Longview. On the way, I reflected that I have MANY areas in my life that need attention. I called Jason to tell him that I wished I was better at some of these things. I felt down and discouraged about it and convicted that I hadn't spent time in the Word this morning. He advised me to cling to Christ (great advice) and said he was right there with me. Thank you, Lord, for Jason and his wisdom. Thank you, Lord, for your grace and mercy.

I spent the next 2 hours walking around with Debbie (who seems unlimited in her skill and talent musically) learning how to set up and tear down a portable sound system and where certain cords go and how to make it all work. I am leading the worship for our Ladies Retreat the first weekend in February and thus, need to know exactly how to do this. I was thankful today, that I am still learning new things musically and that God is continuing to stretch me to be used of Him. I am really excited about the retreat and praying for Him to speak to both me and all our ladies attending.

Meanwhile, Jason spent those 2 hours hauling lots of wood. Micah assisted and they worked super hard to stock our supply. Dori looked after Judson and James played for the most part. Jason also instructed the children to clean their rooms, which they did.

I forgot to mention that Jason is off work today because he has the Friday rotation tomorrow.

Next, I drove home, thanking God for all the neat things I learned and praying about the retreat and which worship songs He would want me to pick. I called Jason to check in at the house. Everything had been going fine, except that Judson had refused to go down for a nap and was giving Jason a little bit of trouble. When I got home, I set out to get something to eat and learned that the kids had already eaten. Since we are completely out of groceries (!) I found some leftover quiche in the freezer. Not the healthiest, but it worked.

I cuddled Judson for a while after I ate and we played a bit together. Then I put him down for a much needed nap, which he resisted at first, but then quickly resolved himself to.

James wanted to cuddle some, too, so we did. Dori did a chore to earn 15 minutes of "screen" time and presently Jason and Micah are back outside working on the wood situation. I am writing this blog post...ha!

When Judson wakes, we are going to load up and go grocery shopping. Aldi's first, then probably walmart for the items Aldi's doesn't carry. On the list are tons of healthy veggies and other low fat food, a la 2009 being here and all. We plan to make a stop at the Salvation Army, since I haven't been in forever and have several things on my list that might be there. I am a thrift shop addict and try to go regularly when I can. I keep a running list of things we need or that I want and see what I find. I just love finding something that we need or want for a buck or less instead of paying costly retail prices.

After our excursion, I will unload all the groceries and put them away in our newly organized kitchen. I'll begin cooking dinner then, too, which is Hamburger casserole. I might make Dori and Micah do a few lessons each for school at the bar while I cook, although we usually do not do school on J's day off. But we are a bit behind from the holidays, so....

The children will be required to pick up the family room before dinner and Jason will likely help with that or move some boxes that I've asked him about recently.

We will eat dinner and then all help with kitchen cleanup. J will load the dishwasher; I will bring things to the sink and clear the table; Dori will sweep; Micah will wipe the table, and James will throw away any trash. Judson will stay in his highchair until the sink is clear and will most likely get a sink bath.

The kids will then start the before bed routine which involves putting pjs on, brushing teeth, washing hands and face, tidying rooms, and getting that last sip of water. Dori and Micah will read until lights out at 8:30. James will lie quietly--probably with his gun. Judson will babble in his crib and then fall asleep. As for me and Jason.....we will most likely relax together watching a little tv or I might surf the net or we might read together. Just depends. He will want to go to bed early, since he has to be up early for work. I will probably talk his ear off about the kids or the day or learning all about sound systems until I notice that he is mysteriously quiet and not responding to me. I will read once I discover that he is asleep and when me eyes start to droop, I'll put the book away, turn out the light, and go to dreamland with the rest of the family.

The above is a day in the life of the Hardage's. It is transparent and real. Not perfect or even close, but filled with God's grace. I'm so thankful for my life and family and so thankful that God continues to change us with each new day.

Essay on Giving

2008-12-29T11:14:00.005-05:00

I've been pondering giving a lot through the Christmas season and especially now that Christmas is over. I wanted to blog about this to get my thoughts out of my head and written down--helps to solidify what one is thinking. I'm a transparent person, so I'm going to share with you something that I've dealt with heavily this Christmas: a bad attitude. Now, I know I'm not alone and I know that millions of people become Scrooge's at Christmas. Interesting, isn't it, that the holidays--a time of supposed peace and goodwill toward others--turns into an ugly, grumpy, and awful time for some. I'm not naming names, but I know some folks who would rather be hung upside-down by their toe nails, than get into the "Christmas spirit."

Why is this?

Like I said, I even faced some Bah humbug type attitudes myself, this Christmas, and I am usually so excited and thrilled with the holiday time. I think part of it is people get sick of the consumerism that is so rampant in our culture. *Buy* this, you *need* that, I *want* this, my kids *must* have that. Yeah, that can really rub folks the wrong way. Then again, no one is putting a gun to anyone's head making you spend X amount of money or buy a million useless things.

But if I'm honest, some negative attitudes creeped into my thought life this Christmas. I hate to admit it, but I even resented some of the present buying I had to do. <-----If you look carefully in that last sentence, you will see what I have now identified as the crux of the whole problem. No, it's not the resented part. Look closer. It's the tail end of the sentence....the "I had to do" part. That pesky little obligation bug can sneak in and rob one of all the Christmas joy they ever had. My husband is a very wise man. As I struggled and hemmed and hawed this Christmas he repeatedly and rightly told me that if I'm buying presents for someone or groups of someone's purely out of obligation, then it would be better for me not to buy anything at all. I fussed at him that he doesn't understand, he doesn't get it, he has an easy time saying that as he's not the designated one in the family to buy all these gifts. And yet, he is and was right. See, the thing is that one will never, ever, ever, ever be a good gift giver, and enjoy Christmas, until one truly cares and loves the giftee. I want to go into this deeper, so bear with me. Think back to when you were a kid. The particulars of how you celebrated Christmas (i.e. Santa/Santa is evil; opening gifts on Christmas Eve vs. Day; etc.) isn't important. Just think back to how awesome it was to open presents from loved ones....and to receive really awesome gifts. Maybe it was *just* what you wanted or a special thing someone made for you or maybe it was something that you totally never dreamed your parents could afford or would get you. How great was that? I know in my memories of Christmases past, I think back to waking up on Christmas morning with my brother Jason and seeing all the shiny new things laid out by my mom just so. I remember getting new clothes and girly things like jewelry and toys to play with that me and my brother just could not believe (like the nintendo way back when they first came out!). I remember saying over and over "thank you so much" to my parents and hugging their necks thinking how awesome it was that they loved us this much to give us all this awesome stuff. Now, right here, you may be tempted to go down that familiar path of stuff=excess/evil/too much/insert bad characteristic. Please don't do that yet...hear me out!

True, stuff doesn't equal love. True, kids can have wonderful Christmases without loads of "stuff." True, sometimes stuff gets in the way of the "true meaning of Christmas." But sometimes gifts are really a blessing. Sometimes all that stuff is a wonderful way to show someone you love them or care for them. Sometimes that someone may not even *gasp* deserve it (do any of us deserve anything?). What better way to follow Christ's example than to bestow on them something they don't deserve? I mean, isn't that the whole root reason we give gifts at Christmas time anyway?? To commemorate the ultimate gift of our Savior's incarnation on earth and ultimate redemption of man? Gifts are getting a bad rap (no pun intended) and unknowingly, I've been party to that, but no longer!

I'm know I'm getting long-winded here, but there is more. When Jason and I first got married, I was so against the typical American celebration of Christmas. Believe it or not, I even fought him over putting up a Christmas tree! I have since mellowed out quite a bit from those over-zealous days, thanks again to very wise counsel from my dear husband. ***disclaimer: if you convictionally do not put up a tree or celebrate Christmas in the way that most Americans do, that's your business and I do not sit in judgement.

Anyway, I had all these ideas about how to celebrate Christmas that I thought were super spiritual or right. And truth be told, it is still something we ponder as a family often. We were discussing this very thing with our friend Neal the other night...how does one celebrate and honor the birth of Christ and really let that take precedence and also balance the cultural norms of our day? It is difficult, no doubt about it, and Neal had some great ideas, such as serving, as a family, at a mission or giving some of our own treasured things to a family in need. He also mentioned the whole planning aspect of gift giving and how that really makes a difference in one's approach to celebrating Christmas. Ultimately, I think it all goes back to attitude. Which leads me back to me and my sour one during parts of this Christmas.

Thankfully, God began to speak to me regarding this issue, right before Christmas. He's still showing me stuff, and believe me, I'm ever grateful! The reason it was so wonderful to open those presents from loved ones? Because it was a gift given out of love. It all boils down to this: a person will never have true joy at Christmas time until he or she first has the joy that comes from knowing Christ and second has the joy in *giving* to others.

It is a selfless thing.

A selfish person will be angry the he has to dip into his savings to give obligatory gifts to his friends/family/coworkers or whatever. A selfish person will be resentful when she thinks of all the work she has to do to cook and clean for visitors coming in her home. A selfish person will think of every possible way to spend as absolutely little as possible for someone--not because he/she is frugal or struggling financially, but because he/she wants to keep more $$ for himself. Before you get all huffy about this point, let me clarify. I'm as big of a thrifter as Mrs. Tightwad Gazette herself, and there is nothing, I mean absolutely nothing wrong with homemade or baked gifts (I sure made a lot myself!), but if a person has plenty of money, but is simply stingy and selfish, then yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It all goes back to attitude. A gift can be homemade, free, cost little or cost a lot, but if the attitude is resentment, anger, or the ever present obligation....then that gift is in vain.

So God began to reveal to me that I had a self problem. It wasn't about the money, either, as about half our gifts were homemade and more in the "labor of love" category. I had a self problem that is only remedied by realizing that God freely gave to me--an undeserving, unworthy recipient--knowing that there is absolutely no possible way for me to EVER reciprocate. Which brings me to the next lesson on giving:

Reciprocation is not the example Christ set for us.

If one is giving a gift because he/she thinks someone will reciprocate in like fashion, then one is missing the mark. Christ coming to earth, Christ becoming sin and being punished for our salvation, can never, ever be reciprocated. If you somehow believe you can give enough back to God in thanksgiving or whatever, to somehow earn your salvation....well, email me. We have some talkin' to do. :) It's the same for gift giving. A gift given in expectation of a gift received will be given in vain and will not be joyfully given. This "reciprocation" idea robs people (myself at times included) of joy at Christmas.

So God is teaching me that instead of looking at my gift list with a selfish, obligatory, or reciprocal attitude, I should look at it as an awesome opportunity to bless those on it. My gifts could be free, homemade, cost a little or a lot. As long as I am giving them as a response to the ultimate example of Christ's love, and as an act of blessing these individuals, then I will have true JOY at Christmas time.

Thinking back to those gifts you have opened from a loved one....think about a person that you know that is just really good at getting gifts. Someone who always seems to get just what you wanted or something you could really use or something that just puts a smile on your face. I'm not talking about the person who throws a gift at you that is clearly a result of his/her "duty" and is so totally not something you could ever use or would ever want...I'm talking about the person who you know deep down has no thought of you even being able to "return the favor." The person who smiles from somewhere inside at the knowledge that you are loved and that they are happy to be blessing you. I used to think these people were somehow talented at gift giving and I was somehow lacking that talent. I used to say things like, "I'm just not good at gift giving" or "so and so is just such a good gift giver." And I used to think that simply having lots of money on hand made one a "good" gift giver . We know this isn't true as some of the stingiest folks are those with gobs of money. Ever seen the statistics on those who donate? Yeah, usually the lower economic class. Interesting, isn't it?

But I realized this Christmas that those people are not especially gifted (again no pun intended, hahaha) or talented or endowed some special "gift" ability. No, they just *get* gift giving. They are selfless people. They really love the folks they are giving to. They actually *think* about the person and spend time considering what that person might actually like or be blessed by receiving. I aspire to be like these wonderful, selfless people.

One final point to conclude this hugely long essay on giving, lol. How to respond to gifts given? Thinking again to the ultimate example of Christ, and knowing there is nothing we can do to reciprocate this precious gift, the best way to receive a gift--including our lives in Christ--is to relish in the pleasure of knowing Him, and likewise, simply enjoy the gift/s given by others. This has been a hard concept for me to grasp over the years that I've been married. See, many times I would be stressed when Aunt Linda would give us $100 for Christmas, or Uncle Joe that I didn't get any present for, would give our entire family really nice gifts. I would think "oh no, they got us a gift and I didn't do anything! What are they gonna think? Next year I'll get them a really nice gift." Etc., unto infinity. I would stress myself out thinking about these things and actually feel bad and miss the point completely that Aunt Linda or Uncle Joe were simply wanting to bless our family. The best way to love them and receive those gifts, was to enjoy them! And let them know just how much we enjoyed them. It's slowly starting to sink in. Now some folks do not give in the spirit of Aunt Linda and Uncle Joe, true, but you know what I mean.

In conclusion, I'm really, genuinely looking forward to next Christmas. I know it isn't even January yet, but I am! I'm excited to think about the people on my Christmas list and what would be a real blessing to them. I'm excited that God is teaching me more and more self sacrifice--something I'm sure I will be learning 'til the day I die. I'm excited that next Christmas I can put into real practice some of these lessons. I'm excited that instead of being a slave to a negative attitude, I've been freed by the ultimate sacrifice of God to have real JOY at Christmas and to experience the peace and goodwill toward others that Christmas represents.

Simply having a wonderful ChristmasTime

2008-12-27T11:35:00.012-05:00

(I could not resist this Playmobil Nativity set on clearance at Target yesterday)

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas

This Christmas was different, no doubt about it....we had 75 degree weather on Christmas Day, a huge Christmas Eve family party, and not one but TWO Christmas trees. The kids have had a blast celebrating this holiday with cousins, grandparents, and Aunts and Uncles galore and so have we enjoyed actually having quite the selection of family parties and visits this December. But it has also been a bit sad for me. I miss the snow of the Northeast and the frigid temperatures (yes, even those). I miss sitting by the fire and drinking hot cocoa and trying to stay warm. But mostly, I miss my dear, dear friends from the past almost 8 years we spent living away from MS. There is nothing quite like having a white Christmas, or walking on 5th Avenue in Manhattan seeing all the lights and Christmas displays. I'll never forget freezing my tail off one particular crazy December, waiting for.ever in the freezing cold for the lighting of the Rockerfeller Christmas Tree. That's another post for another day. Heh. Anyhow, I guess Christmas reminds me most of all our dear friends that were like family in both NY and RI. I'm an emotional sort of gal, so just pardon me for waxing nostagic while I think of Christmases past.

Here's the Christmas tree in all it's glory:

The kids talked me into getting this ginormous tree based on the fact that our living room has cathedral ceilings and can fit a huge tree. Me being a complete and total sucker when it comes to the kids, of course, said yes. The very nice man at Lowes even tied this bad boy right to van--climbed up on top and everything. I tipped him well. See, Jason was working and would not have time to help us get the tree for several days and me and the children just couldn't wait.

I love decorating a Christmas tree. I mean, I LOVE it. When Jason and I first got married I thought that he would have as much love as I did in decorating the tree, but quickly discovered that while he enjoyed looking at the completed results, he really didn't get into it like I did. So that has been my job every year and with the addition of each child, it gets more and more fun! This year, Hayden came over and helped since this tree was especially large. As you can see, I don't have a "theme" tree or any special way to decorate it....it's way more fun to let the kids put the ornaments on and go for it! We were married 6 weeks before Christmas in 1999 and one sweet, dear lady from our church knew that we had zero Christmas ornaments and zero $$ for said Christmas ornaments, so she loaded us up with about 10 boxes of plain glass ball ornaments she had lying around. Do you know that those have become my favorite ornaments? We love to deck the tree with all the glass balls we can. Yes, we lose a few every year, but they are cheap enough to be easily replaced.

We also have a collection of German ornaments that have come from my brother David while he served in the military there over the past few years. These are also treasured and fun to see each year.

Another thing I love about our tree are the homemade paper cones with chocolates in them. As I said earlier, I have no rhyme or reason to tree decorating. I'm of a mind to hang everything you can on a tree. So one year ( I think 3 years ago) I got the idea to get pretty craft paper and make victorian-like paper cones with ribbon and fill with chocolate to hang on the tree. These cones have held up well and are so fun for the kids to see mysteriously filling through the holidays. I just love it! I have been known to save little tiny sheer present bags with drawstrings and hang those on the tree the next year with presents in them. Don't tell anybody how crazy I am! I guess I just love the fun of "finding" goodies in the tree.

I love the smell of Christmas greens. I have candles scented in these wonderful Christmas smells, but nothing really beats the true scent of a Christmas tree and greenery. I don't like the fake stuff, either. We tried an artificial tree for two years and it felt so...well, artificial. I know, I know....real trees are dangerous and definitely not cost effective, but I just. can't. help. it. I love a real tree. I love to make boughs and garland and wreaths out of real greenery. This year I discovered that Lowes and Home Depot collect the trimmings from trees they sell and "shape" and let you take them for free. Score! So I loaded up a van full twice to decorate the house. It was fun. I am by no means an expert at this, but there is something so nice about seeing your own handmade decorations hanging on doors and mantels, etc. It makes me think of the way things must've been done in olden times.

This is the "kid's Tree"--We hang out mostly in the den and sadly, the big tree was in the Living room. So.....not much time was spent enjoying the big tree. I decided late into the season that we needed a tree for the den and the kid's really wanted to decorate one all by themselves. Trees like this go on sale for $5 at walmart about a week before Christmas.

This is a picture of the children right before Christmas. I love my kids so much. There is just nothing that compares to being a mother and having these beautiful children in my life---I'm so incredibly blessed by them.

This next set of pictures is cousin Hayden and cookie baking night. We had a Blast! Hayden was lamenting the fact that flour kept getting all over his "good" shirt, so I found him a child's apron, which led to finding a child's play chef hat. He is quite the baker and rolled, cut, and loaded up cookie sheets faster than I could retrieve them from the oven. We turned up the Christmas music really loud and danced the whole way through, too. It was such a fun night!

So this next set of pictures is the Christmas Eve party, aka Kid Bash 08! I wish I had taken pictures of the total MOUNTAIN of presents, but I was busy in the kitchen. We had so much food, I'm sure 100 people could have eaten. Thanks to a kind family in our church, we had a wonderful honey baked ham that I didn't have to worry about cooking. It was delicious. We also had every sort of cheesy goodness casserole, rice casseroles, dips, spreads, you know....the same stuff you probable had. It was all so good and fun to be around Jason's family this Christmas. The tv vascilated between "A Christmas Story" and "It's A Wonderful Life," both my favorites.

I thought I lost Judder there for a moment in all the chaos of present opening. But we found him. Here he is on his new truck. The next picture is him playing with a top that was baby Reese's present. He's a present snatcher.

Mason playing with the playmobil

Emmy playing with Dori's dollhouse. I think she stayed in there most of the night. :)

Noah and Kelsey

Jason making Reese cry, lol.

Christmas morning came TOO early. Like 5:45am early. I am the one who usually sets everything up and fills stockings, so I waited patiently for the kids to fall asleep. This process took a lot longer than usual because the children were wired from our Christmas party. It took even longer, because Dori kept coughing and gagging and sputtering and so had to get up every 30 minutes to go to the bathroom. Let's just say it was a long night. I think she finally made it to bed and got to sleep around 1am. Whew. I won't say what time I finally hit the sack. Christmas morning they all piled in bed with us (except Judson) and were as excited as you can imagine.
I don't have many Christmas morning pictures, because the truth is I was so delirious and sleepy from the night before that I forgot to take much. I actually think these pictures were taken by Jason....I don't really remember, lol, such a haze.

This is Micah playing the new Wii. He fell on the floor in dramatic fashion when he realized we had gotten one for them. Papa Neal is to thank for that!

More weapons for James

James couldn't take anymore by about 4pm. So funny, he's cuddled up with his light saber.

I made these Native American dress up shirts. The kids wanted some they had seen in a catalogue so badly, but they were super expensive. I had so much fun making these and it was so easy. One pack of brown t shirts, a hot glue gun, some beads and ribbon and scissors was all it took and Micah wore his all day on Christmas. The boys both got bows and arrows and a quiver to go with these.

We had a good Christmas. Still enjoying the time together and looking forward to New Years festivities.

Dori's musical 8th Birthday party

2008-12-09T13:34:00.005-05:00

Every year at about this time, I start to get into the so called "Christmas Spirit" and actually enjoy all the parties, festivities, baking, etc., etc. It takes me this long because that is when I've completed Dori's birthday party. See, December is my most stressful time of year. Dori's birthday is Dec. 7th, Jason's is exactly a week later on the 13th, plus there is Christmas.

This year Dori really wanted a big throw down since we are now living near family. Of course, I was all for this...wanting to give to my child the wonderful experience of having grandparents at a birthday celebration. So....she chose music as her theme (how could I ever deny that??) and we had a good ole' time.

I lament the fact that no one captured a shot of the AWESOME guitarist we had, Stephen Mcneill. When Dori told me she wanted a "Music Party" I knew we had to have live music. Stephen is a friend from church and we play together on the worship band, and I'm forever grateful he was able to play for us and make the whole night that much more awesome. If you are in the area and need a guitarist, get in touch with Stephen! He will be worth it. You can check out his band, Philedelphia here for contact info. I just listened to some of their music and it's very good. Check 'em out! Plus, he has a really cool wife and brand new baby, Ella. Just love that name.

While it was a wee bit...uhm...crazy with all the kids, screaming, squealing, laughing, running, and all that a party entails, it was worth every bit of *crazy* to hear Dori say at the end of the night that it was "the best Birthday she ever had." I can only imagine. I never was able to have both sets of grandparents together for a party when I was younger. I'm so glad we were able to pull this off for my baby girl. Now if I could just turn back the clock a few years....

Aunt Amanda got this beautiful cake for Dori. I love the staff at the bottom!

We turned the office into a craft room for the girls. They made ornaments and other Christmas-y creations

This was one of the gifts Dori recieved. It's a ceiling tile turned into a bulletin board. What a cute idea!

I had cake duty...Noah ice cream. Noah is very serious about his jobs. Ha!

This is Jason's grandfather. We call him "Big Daddy." I love the hat he is wearing...reminds me of my Dad.

This is Papa Neal and Judson. Judson got punch in his bottle. It was a good day for him, lol.

Thanksgiving 2008

2008-11-29T23:02:00.004-05:00

I tried so hard to come up with a more interesting title to this post but to no avail. All my brain power must be zapped after this year's Thanksgiving festivities. It was a good Turday Day. It will certainly be remembered.

Dori and Micah are old enough now to really anticipate family gatherings and holidays and such. It is so fun to watch their excitement as we prepare. This was evident for the entire week leading up to Thanksgiving. We hadn't even eaten in the dining room yet, since we moved in, so it was a BIG deal to get that all set up and pull out the crystal glasses that haven't seen the light of day in oh....5 or more years! D and M were beside themselves waiting and waiting for the big day. We cleaned house all through the week and got beds ready for our overnight visitors. I probably let them stay up too late, but it was a special week and I'm pretty lenient like that.

I promised D and M we could make cookies and use these cute fall cookie cutters. I ended up completely wasting 2 pounds of butter trying to make shortbread. I'm scared to ever try that again. Even Micah wouldn't eat whatever it was that came out of the oven. He thinks I put too much butter in the mix. He's probably right...but that's what the recipe called for! So on Wednesday we had cookie making attempt number two and it was definitely a success. The sugar cookie recipe I used turned out fantastic and I highly recommend it for Christmas cookie cut-outs. It is so good and got rave reviews. Check it out here. The cookies were supposed to be dipped in almond bark, but I let it burn while I was doing something else and not paying attention. Oh well--these cookies were so good, it didn't really matter.

Dori ironed a couple of the *good* napkins before she got scared of the steam coming out of the iron. I gave her and also Micah the job of setting the plates and silverware out. They also wanted name cards for everybody at the table, so I let them make some. They really crack me up:

Big turkey and little turkey.

Angry pilgrim shooting turkey.

Two turkey with long legs.

This was the finished table. They had so much fun making everything so nice! It's a lot of work to wash and care for all the "good stuff," but really makes it extra special sometimes.

So the turkey was stressing me out a wee bit. Everything hinges on the turkey. If the turkey isn't done yet, then dinner must wait. It the turkey is overdone, well, no one is happy. As I said in an earlier post, I completely screwed up the first turkey I ever cooked--using a "no fail" recipe, no less. I failed big time and I've been a bit gun shy ever since that experience. But this year I searched allrecipes.com for THE perfect easy turkey recipe, and I'm happy to report that it seemed to work! Here's what you do:

as fast as you possibly can, yank out the neck and inside parts that are for some reason saved and stuffed back into the turkey. This is the hardest part of the whole cooking a turkey experience, in my opinion. I seriously close my eyes, reach in, and throw it in the garbage with the quickness. Gross!

after you have braved the giblets , you rinse the bird and dry with a paper towel thoroughly. Place whole carrots, onions, celery sticks, etc. on the bottom of your roasting pan and then place the bird on top of that. Rub softened butter all over and up under the skin if you can. Salt and pepper it (I used lemon pepper seasoning), and make an aluminum foil tent over it.

I put it in the oven on 250 at about midnight Wednesday night and cranked it up to 325 at about 8 the next morning. The key (I'm told) to having it juicy is in the basting. I faithfully basted the turkey every 30 minutes until it was done and removed the foil during the last hour. It turned out pretty good and now I'm feeling better about my turkey cooking skills. Here's a pic:

This next picture is what happens when Jason and Micah are playing football in the house. Plants get knocked over and we all experience some dyson love, lol. Jason took care of the huge dirt pile, and then once he had sufficiently cleaned it up.....knocked it over again and had to do it all over. My brother laughed so hard at this he made Dori grab the camera and take a shot of cleanup in action!

I hate to close on that note, but it is getting late and like I mentioned at the top....my brain is just not up to par right now!

2008-11-17T12:35:00.000-05:00

Operation Christmas Child and random pics

2008-11-17T12:16:00.002-05:00

If you look real close on the front row in purple is Dori. The kids put on a special music presentation all about Operation Christmas child. It was so cute!

And if you look real close on the second row in a gray shirt is Micah.

Uncle Noah getting some Judson lovin.

Noah, Judson, and Kelsey

This is not a great picture, b/c I took it through the glass. But this is our new dog, Ed. He is such a good dog. A little excited right now, but very good.

"....and do not hinder them from coming to Me...."

2008-11-17T11:54:00.003-05:00

Something really amazing happened yesterday at church. Something that will forever change the way I view young children and their relationship (or lack thereof) with God. I have always believed and known that children can have a walk with God, but until I experienced that personally, witnessing my own children trust in Jesus, that reality seemed somewhat distant.

Dori and Micah have both professed faith in Christ and both regularly acknowledge God speaking to them, whether through something they learn in Sunday School, reading or having the Bible read to them, or some other way. It is absolutely wonderful and fascinating to watch your own children "get" Biblical concepts or insights....many times deep things that even adults will miss (myself included).

So it shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did yesterday, when I glanced down from my perch on stage behind the keyboard to see my son Micah (6) walking forward in front of 1100 people and make his way to the steps to pray to God. This was during the response time, at the end of the pastor's message when folks who need or want to will come forward to a waiting minister, and to be dealt with by God. There is nothing magical about this time and people certainly don't need an invitation per se to respond to God. But it is a helpful tool to aid those who need spiritual help and may not know "what's next."

Back to Micah. So sometimes, people will kneel at the front steps of the stage to pray for a time while others are speaking/praying with ministers. But to see my 6 year old son go down front and spend time with God there......wow. It was hard to hold back the tears that were almost overflowing. We haven't ever even really mentioned "the alter" or talked about what people are doing there. In fact, I'm sure we haven't. Micah told me later it was "something he felt like he needed to do." I won't disclose what he told me he prayed about, but it was something very real that we have been facing in our family and something that brought me to my own knees when he told me.

In typical Micah fashion, as soon as he returned to his seat, he high-fived Dori! According to Dori, she noticed Micah looking like he wanted to go down front and pray and so she leaned over and whispered "you can go if you want....."

Jason and I have almost *always* been busy during church services and for the most part the children have had to fend for themselves. When J was pastoring, he was of course preaching. I am usually behind a piano or keyboard. So it is especially sweet that my children are helping each other grow closer to God and be sensitive to the moving of His Spirit. I pray this never ceases and only grow stronger.

This verse comes to mind from Matthew 19: "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Emphasis mine.

New Pics

2008-11-14T16:28:00.003-05:00

Micah hauls wood on Tuesdays and Saturdays for the wood stove. Surprisingly, he *loves* doing this. He is a hands on type of guy.

I looked over the other day at saw Micah sprawled out across the kitchen counter. James joined in the photo.

Go Red Sox---I mean, here's J and Judson having a moment.

New Pics

2008-11-14T16:13:00.002-05:00

Dori studying her Bible

Doing some school work....

All my boys

Judson "Judder Bug" Hardage. Eating his apple.

14 months

Another week done....

2008-11-14T15:49:00.002-05:00

Christmas is coming up--faster and quicker than I will ever be ready for, but coming nonetheless. Yesterday we got catalogs in the mail from novanatural and Rosie Hippo. These are high quality, mostly wooden and handmade toy companies. I try really hard to do most of our Christmas shopping from these types of companies because I find the quality far superior to the plastic cheap stuff at the big box stores. Ever since the lead scare and toy recalls of 07, many people have turned to more natural types of toys as opposed to cheaply manufactered plastic stuff. Wooden toys can be fixed when broken, too. They are expensive, though, and since we don't roll in the dough, lol, I painstakingly, along with the kids, determine what we can afford and what will get the most playtime. It is both fun and draining!

It is always fun for the kids to go through the catalogs and "wish" for what might come at Christmas time. I confess I love to look through all the beautiful toys myself! Last night I let Dori and Micah stay up late and cuddle in bed with me while we paged through both catalogs and talked about how excited we were for Christmas.

The kids had a whole system of identifying how much they like a certain toy. A "D" by a toy meant Dori liked it and an "M", Micah. Then there were stars indicating exactly how much they liked the toy--10 being top toy. The 10 star mark was reserved for one toy each. Oh, and they also marked toys they thought James and Judson would like, too!

Anyway, we had a good time staying awake and talking and cuddling. I love my life and I love my kids so much. I'm so thankful for each of them. What could be better than cuddling with your younguns and sharing in there joy?

Election Stuff

2008-11-09T16:42:00.002-05:00

The other day I was driving home from the store and I saw a neon pink sign next to all the other political signs that said, "Elect Jesus Lord Tuesday. Vote for Jesus." Hmmmm

I'm sure the people who posted this sign are very dear, well-meaning folks, but for the life of me I do not understand what they are trying to accomplish. I wasn't aware Jesus was on the ballot. Are they equating voting McCain to voting the way Jesus would? Perhaps they were trying to say that somehow "choosing" Jesus is more important than any election? Further, what would this mean to an unbelieving person? Does this sign give any explanation as to how one can "vote for Jesus?" Is the message to believers primarily or unbelievers? Can we really "elect" Jesus to do or be something anyway?

It's perplexing. As a believer in Christ, I can give these folks the benefit of a doubt and probably come to some sort of understanding in their message. But to a world of unbelievers, this sign sends a confused and inarticulate message.

Let me clear it up: The Sovereign King of the Universe is Lord over all, whether you "elect" him or not. 'Nuff said.

2008-11-09T16:09:00.002-05:00

James. I just discovered that my camera has the B/W feature. I cannot believe I never knew this until now! I love black and white shots. James is taking a rest and apparently telling me to be quiet.

This is a shot of me being defeated by James and Judson. They were dogpiling me on the couch.

Judson 14 months

I'm back....I think

2008-11-09T13:02:00.002-05:00

I've been in a blogger coma since August. It's not that I didn't have things to write or even time. I don't really know how to describe why I haven't been blogging. I think that the sheer amount of upheaval in our lives (packing and moving back to MS; unpacking and trying to settle in here; getting adjusted to new places and new people, etc. etc.) led me to just function over the last few months. You know laundry, feeding of children, cleaning, day to day stuff. And nothing more.
I was dealing with a tremendous amount of raw emotion, too. <----this equals my summary of the last few months. There. I've written about it...now we can move on to the present.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I am super excited that my brother, Jason, along with Mom and Tom are coming to our house to spend a holiday together. Thanksgivings were always a little tough while we lived in the northeast. Mainly b/c you don't have the awesome distraction of squealing, happy children opening presents to take up the void of missing family. However, past Tday celebrations have been unique in that we've been invited to share in other families festivities. It's neat to see how each family has it's own traditions and warmth.

This brings to mind Turkey Day 2004....at Gino F.'s house. Gino worked with Jason at FedEx and we became fast friends with him and with his wife, Emily. Gino's folks are off the boat from Italy and totally loved having people come over for "festivities."

Let's see...the first course started around 1pm and the last course wrapped up well after 11pm! Interesting things about this family's traditions: Each course was served on *very* nice fine china that was hand-washed between courses. Yes, hand-washed! The women washed in the kitchen while the men gathered in the living room discussing politics, God, and family. Oh, and between each course some form of alcohol was served. I see why Italians are known for being so warm and loving, lol.

At some point in the late afternoon, everyone took a walk to try and burn off some of the calories and fat we consumed. Or maybe it was just to try and settle all that food, I don't know. By the end of the night, we were part of Gino's awesome family and they were ready for us to spend the night and start again the next day! Family is big with Italians....maybe *the* most important characteristic. It was clear through all the eating and talking and laughing that children were welcome and loved and each member of the family was a cherished and important part. We had a great time with the Forgionni's and will never forget that Thanksgiving.

I haven't had the pleasure of cooking a full Tday meal since 1999, when Jason and I had only been married for 3 weeks! Yeah...that turkey was raw on the inside and I cooked every. single. possible. dish I could think of that my own mother had cooked growing up. Did I mention it was just the two of us that Thanksgiving? :) Jason dutifully ate the outer rim of the turkey....and parts of the 20 dishes I served and never once complained about any of it. That's the type of man I married.

Let's hope this year I get the turkey right and take from the Forgionni's warmth to have a memorable and warm family celebration--there is certainly much thanksgiving to offer to our God.

Random pictures

2008-08-09T13:33:00.001-04:00

And even more beach photos

2008-08-09T13:26:00.003-04:00

More Beach photos

2008-08-09T13:14:00.003-04:00

A Day at the Beach

2008-08-09T13:07:00.002-04:00

No words....just pictures.

Gone for awhile....

2008-07-06T15:19:00.002-04:00

I had visions of blogging and blogging about our 3 week trip to MS. I suppose that's as far as I'll get, because we've been back now for over two months and it just isn't happening! For starters, our digital camera was left at whatever-the-name-is St. Louis Cardinals baseball park. Yeah. That happened the SECOND day of our trip, so unfortunately there are no pictures of all the fun we had. I opted not to check email while we were gone, so I had a huge amount to catch up on when we returned. That takes time. Then I had to get our lives back in order and all that.

Anyway, here are the cliff's notes on the MS trip:

--Flying alone (i.e. without any other adult) with four children, including a nursing baby, CAN be done.

--Just because it can be done does not mean it should ever be attempted again!

--It wasn't as hot as I thought it would be in MS, but pleasant for the entire time. Yay!

--Dori, Micah, and James absolutely loved playing with cousins Hayden, Emmy, Mason, Noah, and Mary Thomas.

--Southern dialect is *quickly* picked up by children. "Mom, can I go outSAHD?" Uh, is that my little Yankee Micah talking?

--We were able to go to a wedding, the Pink Palace, the Memphis Zoo, fossil hunting, MSU, see several sets of grandparents, and celebrate Micah's 6th Birthday with a full-on Southern style barbeque, complete with a random neighbor child riding her dirt back in the back yard. :)

--Dori, Micah, and I planted a holly bush at Dad's grave site. I'm glad they were able to see where Papa James lived and died. We also were able to visit Dorinda's grave site and tell the kids all about Jason's mama.

--Flying home alone with 4 kids, including a nursing baby is equally difficult, but further complicated when oldest son pukes during landing.....on the first flight. Kicking myself for packing everyone else a change of clothes, but not Micah. Oh well....

All in all it was a great trip and visit for our family. We were able to do so much and see so many friends and family. Well worth the stress of getting there.

Beautiful Rhode Island

2008-04-22T11:21:00.003-04:00

It is always amazing to me how beautiful Rhode Island is and how blessed I am to live here surrounded by such beauty.

I took Dori with me on Monday to get Micah's birthday presents. We had a nice time out just the two of us and it was an absolutely perfect day. These pictures are taken at the marina in Wickford, a quaint little town about 15 minutes from us. They have a wonderful toy store in Wickford that had just what we needed. ;) The last picture Dori took herself--she wanted to get the swan.

American Girl Spa Day

2008-04-22T10:04:00.005-04:00

I have very mixed feelings about American Girl dolls. We first encountered this high quality, super expensive doll in NY, when a catalog mysteriously arrived at our doorstep. I had never heard of this company and I confess the price tag immediately gave me a negative impression. Dori was fascinated and looked at the catalog until the papers thinned and finally tore. I put off buying one of these dolls for as long as I could, mainly because they are $100 each and out of principal (not sure which one--maybe many!) I felt that was just too much for a doll.

Dori eventually forgot about it and that was that. Then we moved to Rhode Island and several of her friends here had American Girl dolls. One sweet girl felt so badly that Dori didn't have one, that she saved up her own money to buy a "mini" American Girl doll ($20). So at Dori's 6th birthday, she received her first ever Mini American Girl doll, Kaya--and she was truly treasured.

Let me stop right here and say that these dolls are very well made, and have wonderful historical story lines. For example, there is Samantha, from the Victorian era; Molly, from World War II; Julie, from the 70's; and so on. Each doll has a series of fictional books that are interesting and share the history of the era with the reader. Dori has read many of the books, and they are wonderful!

Christmas of 2006, Papa Neal heard of the travesty that Dori had no American Girl Doll. He heard how that was what she *really* wanted for Christmas. I'm sure you can figure out what happened next! Papa Neal sent the $100 so Dori could pick out a doll--making her beyond excited. It took her almost 5 weeks to decide which doll she wanted (this is primarily because her crazy mama wanted her to be absolutely certain she just LOVED the doll she chose, since she most likely would not be getting another one). She settled on "Elizabeth"--a girl from 1774. The rest is history.

Most things American Girl are pricey. You can find outfits for the dolls at Target for $10 a piece, which is great, and sometimes the local craft stores will sell similar style accessories and furniture for a third of the price of "real" American Girl stuff. This helps the pocket book and I'm so glad I only have one girly girl. :)

This brings me to last Saturday. I had to take Dori to get a hair cut at the mall, and I noticed a poster about a FREE American Girl Doll Spa Day. Hmmm. I know of virtually nothing free that is American Girl! As soon as the poster caught Dori's eye she was hooked and I told her that we would bring Elizabeth and get her hair done and hey, possibly win "Addy"--the American Girl doll that is from the Civil War era.

Dori was ecstatic and had a great time. I had to drag all the boys along because Jason had a meeting, but they survived. Micah was even a little excited for his sister, since he knows how much she loves American Girl. It was a great adventure and best of all, FREE. We didn't win any of the give-aways, but had lots of fun none-the-less!

Elizabeth in the "salon chair"

This is what James was doing while Elizabeth got her hair done.

The boys looking at the water fountain. At least they weren't fighting.

This is Micah's mischievous look. I get it 987,830 times a day.

This picture was taken by the lady who sponsored the whole event. It will be featured in the Providence Performing Arts Center-Journal. One of the give-aways were 4 tickets to see the play "Addy." We didn't win.

This is the finished product!

This is during the drawings and all the girls who had their dolly spa day.

Lessons

2008-04-15T10:59:00.006-04:00

Here is a sampling of what typically goes on in the Hardage home (Hardage High as Pappaw likes to call it!). Oh yes, we have lessons for all ages here--including Mom and Dad, although no pictures of that yet.

This is a typical morning at the kitchen table. James has only recently been joining us. He is getting into coloring and drawing circles. Dori is working on phonics/reading in this picture and Micah is coloring.

A close-up of Dori. She's always happy to do her work. Boy am I ever grateful for that!

James wanted a close-up of his "school."

This is Micah's new Arthur coloring book.

And the youngest student. Piano lessons.

Building Lessons. Heh.

Reading Lessons

Why "Drop of Grace?"

2008-04-01T12:49:00.003-04:00

This is just a quick post about why I named my blog "Drop of Grace."
It comes from a song I wrote in 2004. Here are the lyrics:

A drop of grace rolls down my head

The holiness of God burns me, instead

of giving liberty to do as I please--

one drop

cures my disease

A drop of grace rolls down my head

The holiness of God burns me, instead

of giving liberty to do as I please--

one drop

cures my disease

And I lay down

at His wounded feet

I lay down

at His

wounded feet

I lay down

at His wounded feet

Change me
Change me
Change me

Change me
Change me
Change me

More Chicken Pox!

2008-03-31T12:55:00.002-04:00

I'm not exactly sure why all four of my children didn't come down with the Chicken Pox at the same time. If I remember correctly, this is how it used to happen. You know, back in the "old days" before there was a vaccine for every imaginable thing. Somehow, we have managed to spread out the chicken pox virus over the course of a month. Maybe it's even been longer....the days/weeks sort of blur together after a while!

Anyway, it started with Micah. I watched the others every moment of the day for the spots, but none were found. He went through the ordeal, gained a playstation 2 out of it, itched and drank lots of juice and then it was over. The doctor said the baby most likely wouldn't get it, but James would unless I vaccinated him. So off I went to get the shot and hope he wouldn't come down with the spots.

Nope. He got them. Then the baby got them.

And now, after I thought we were home free, sweet Dori has it. We were just getting out of the van at church yesterday when she showed me her tummy....and I knew what it was right away. Dori was vaccinated, but yet, she came down with them, too. Also that morning we learned that two other vaccinated children from our church have caught them. One a fairly bad case.

Interesting stuff, eh?

God has used this whole experience to help me learn about life and about resting in Him. We are just not in control, are we? He is sovereign and we are not. How often we think we are able to manipulate this or that....or if we just do this for our children or that for our children then we will guarantee that xyz won't happen to them. It happens all the time, doesn't it? The reality, again, is that He is sovereign, and we simply are not.

So when these things happen, that we try to prevent or control or whatever, God is showing me to just rest in Him. I don't have to respond with alarm and fretting, or fear. He knows. He's with me. And He's with my children. Their protection is ultimately in His hands. Truthfully, this is very hard for me. But it's something I'm working on. I guess I can thank the chickenpox for helping me with this lesson.

Dori is doing just fine, by the way. After she recovers, I think I'll be more careful about saying we are "finally done" with the chicken pox. Who knows, maybe me or Jason will catch it again!

Purrrrrrrrrrrovidence Bruins

2008-03-30T14:58:00.007-04:00

Yesterday night our church family went to see the Providence Bruins vs. Portland Pirates. That's hockey for those of you who don't know. This was only my second hockey game EVER, and boy was it fun! My first experience with hockey was a Memphis game J took me to when Dori was a wee babe. I absolutely loved every minute of it until the first fight broke out. If you haven't ever been to a hockey game, let me just tell you that it is fast-paced, loud, and brutal. There's lots of "roughing," "instigating," and "fighting" going on. And it's all a legal part of the game. I wasn't prepared for that and I'll admit it disturbed me a bit. Yes, I am publicly admitting I am a total wimp. Yes, my husband is thoroughly embarrassed I am admitting this! I think some people go to the games just for the fightin'. Personally, I could do without it, but it is intriguing to watch grown men pound each other without risk of going to jail for assault and battery. Heh.

Micah is very intense about sports. So is James, for that matter. I sometimes wonder how it is possible that I, the artsy, musical, never-played-a-sport-in-my-life-girl, have *3* rough and tumble boys--two of which are already obsessed with all things sport. It matters not the particular game. It matters not the particular team (well, Jason has pretty solidly made them Cardinals and Cowboys fans, but they are open to others). It matters not the winning and losing (yet). Micah and James are seriously serious about watching the game. They get it honest--and it ain't from me! Check James out in the background of this picture.
This was Dori and James' first hockey game and they both loved it, but for different reasons. James sat perfectly still in J's arms taking the game in, while Dori practically stood up and danced to all the loud music that periodically came on. YMCA, Sweet Caroline, and the "Hey" song--oh yeah, she totally boogied and yelled with the rest of the fans. No bashfulness in that child. Such a free spirit, that one.

All in all, we had a wonderful, fun-filled evening. It was very late when we finally got in bed, but it was worth it to create such a great memory. Since hockey is such a hit around here with the boys, my friend Linda suggested I come up with a "penalty box" at home. A place to put the boys for "roughing", "instigating", and "fighting." I love it....and I am totally going to do it.

Easter 2008

2008-03-27T11:44:00.000-04:00

This year has been strange. As a family, we have never been more sickly and spent so much time at both the doctor's office and in bed! Starting in January, we've experienced a perpetual cycle of sickness, healing, repeat sickness with a different family member, healing, new sickness, and on it goes. I believe I have missed more church services during the past 3 months than ever in my life! It hasn't been easy, but in many ways, it's been useful to teach me patience, service, and to slow me down.

We had planned on taking a big trip South to visit family right after Easter. That trip has since been delayed due to a bout with the chickenpox. Yes, I said chickenpox! That not-so-common-anymore, spotty, itchy, uncomfortable childhood illness. I'm happy to report that everyone survived relatively unharmed, save for lack of sleep on Mom's part. :)

Easter celebrations this year, like much of the first three months of 2008, were different. Micah and Dori were able to go with Jason to church, but the baby and James were still contagious and missed out on the church festivities. Micah was kind enough to collect many candy-filled eggs in his brother's stead, and we all together enjoyed a leisurely afternoon after eating roasted chicken with veggies and resurrecting (no pun intended!) an old tradition from my childhood: the coconut cake.

This year was a time of reflection. Of remembering hope. Hope we have from the cross, hope for the coming of Spring, hope for the future. And although the children were quite a sight, and Mom was super sleepy, it turned out to be a wonderfully quiet and relaxing day.

Sometimes we get bogged down in trying to create some super-spiritual experience for our family. You know what I mean--we've all done it! Christmas Eve rolls around and we think, "Oh no! We haven't read the Christmas story yet, we're not focused on the real meaning." Or we try to somehow give only three gifts to the children to represent the wise-men (or some other symbolic mechanism that will make us feel like we have adequately given enough spiritual weight to the holiday) . Or we just *have* to bake a special scripture cake, and then we will have effectually created the right balance of focus on the birth of Christ verses the joy of giving and receiving gifts. And so we run around frazzled and sometimes even stressed trying to facilitate this "spiritual" aspect.

I was thinking about this a lot this past Christmas and talking with a dear friend about this very thing. She said something so true: waking up on Christmas morn and seeing the delight in your children and feeling the warmth and love of your family.....that is the spiritual part of Christmas. That is something that only our relationship with God can foster. That is what the birth of Christ and the redemption of man yields.

Where am I going with all this? Back to Easter.

I forgot to dye eggs or go over any symbolic meaning with the kids. I stayed up almost the entire night before with a sick and uncomfortable babe, and so I was a little fuzzy. We didn't have ham or taters, and all the family didn't make it to church. But being together and waking up to children's delight and reflecting on the hope we have in Christ....well, it was a spiritual experience indeed.

Dori's Easter treats. She loves drawing and writing so I got her this nature notebook--just in time for spring!

Dori and Micah before the church Easter egg hunt

James' Easter treats. He really wanted this Rapunzel Puzzle

Micah's Easter Treats. I got him this Usborne book to take on the trip, and in his pail is a wonderful Pirate Stories cd that we've all heard now about 9874 times!

Origins

2008-03-24T23:54:00.000-04:00

Hi! You are reading this because I invited you to, or by some randomness you found me whilst surfing the net. Either way, I want to start by thanking you for even reading. Hopefully it will be worth your while.

About 7 years ago I distinctly remember a conversation I had with another mom. It went something like this:

Perfect Mom: So do you have an email account?

Me: Yes, it's xyz@somethinorother.com I'd love to keep in touch!

Perfect Mom: Well, I'm not one of THOSE women who surf the net all day long.

Me: Uh..yeah, no, me neither (feeling instantly guilty for even having an email account that I *gasp* check more than one time a day).

And for several years after that encounter, I had a mixture of feelings regarding the internet and my relationship with it. Part of me wanted to embrace every new technology and become a blogging, surfing, netting Queen. Part of me wanted to completely ban the net in our house and become faux Amish. In fact, we have had months at a time with no media influence whatsoever. This usually happens when we get so sick of the pull that we abolish it all and clear our collective family head. It's refreshing, and hey, it saves lots of money. But ultimately, I don't think I could say I'm the type of person who rejects the very notion of surfing the net or using the computer. All in moderation, as they say.

So maybe I am one of those women, whoever that is. I mean, if my Grandmother can effectively email and communicate and learn from the net (Grandma, you inspire me!), then I am certainly not going to let the years and technology pass me by without utilizing them to the fullest extent.

This leads me to where I am today.

Hopefully, somewhere in the future-perhaps ten years from now-I'll have filled this blog with all sorts of pontifications and stories and pictures and wonderful tales from our family, and look back to where it all began. That would be here. That would be *right now*. Let me pause for this momentous occasion...

Okay, now that I've given it the proper pregnant pause, let's begin. Why blog now? It's been quite a few years since blogging took over the world wide web and people started publishing and writing and communicating in this "Information Age." It's surprising that it's taken me this long to jump on the bandwagon. I mean I *am* a communication minor, former collegiate debater, and regular *ahem* discusser with my hubby. This blogging thing is right up my alley. It's practically tailor made for someone like me. And yet, here it is 2008 and I am just now starting. Why is this so?

The reasons are many.

Firstly, I've been having and raising four beautiful children. It's sort of busy around here and I never really got around to thinking about seriously starting a blog. Secondly, I'm a bit chicken about blogging and clicking and POOF! the whole world knows my thoughts. Yikes. What if I say something dumb (that's pretty much a given)....what if I over share (typical female activity)....what if I start it and then get too busy to keep it going, and end up committing blogger suicide? Up until now, I have wondered what it's like to blog, but never taken the leap of faith and started one.

Then it hit me. This would be a wonderful way for my family and friends to keep up with us. I'm admittedly terrible at email updates (mainly because I never have the right email addy or current one) and since we have no relatives anywhere close to us....well, that got me thinking. And thinking. And wondering if I should just bite the bullet and do it. Then, as I usually and painstakingly do, I laid out my whole case to my poor husband. I shared all the pros and cons, fears and exciting thoughts. After listening to me for a good 30 minutes straight and in his typical efficient manor, Jason said, "Just start the blog."

That settled it.

So here we are....embarking on a truly exciting adventure (I know it's thousands of times more exciting for me, but I'm pretending you are mutually excited). I now have 879,923,098 blog posts to catch up on, so buckle up and get ready for the ride. It might be bumpy....