Home school series Part 2

Before I get into the academics of it all, I want to share some of my educational philosophy. I think it is extremely important for children to have large chunks of creative playtime every day. By creative playtime I mean playing that is free from any screen (tv, computer, etc.) noises or distractions.

Children are naturally creative. You do not have to teach a child how to make up stories or how to play house. They just know how to do it! Now, if a child never has any creative playtime built into their day, it might take a little prodding to get him or her to engage the imagination, but it can be done. I know from experience that if given a choice between watching tv/playing a video game/playing on the computer and playing freely without any screen, my kids will *always* choose the screen. The screen entertains. The screen has the sounds and colors. It is fun to sit back and let the screen tell the story. You get my drift. But once I tell them they have to play, it doesn't take long for those creative juices to flow and for my den to turn into a castle, store, restaurant, hotel, or for a war to break out and little native Americans to start running past me complete with bow and arrows.

My kids absolutely amaze me with what they come up with as a game or story or fun thing to do. I believe if children are given the opportunity, they will create out of anything, be it blocks, paper, rocks, legos, whatever. I don't think you have to have much for them to have a good time. We all know how well big boxes go over and how much fun it is to turn kitchen chairs and tables into forts and tents. My personal favorite free playthings are found outside. I just love it when the kids get sticks or leaves or acorns or whatever and create.

I think it is crucial to have this creative play regularly going on in order to stimulate the mind. I would feel this way regardless of whether or not I home schooled. If I sent the kids to school, I would make sure creative play was a vital part of the day. People can get bogged down in academics and making sure their children are well-educated, and might miss this easy, wonderful aspect of learning. I'll be so sad when the make-believe days are over!

A normal day for our family has a slow start. If you know me, you know why this is the case. We have breakfast and Bible reading and the kids do their "morning chores." Then, somewhere around 8:30 or 9:00, I send them into the den for screen-free playing. Sit down-schooling begins at 10. HOWEVER, Judson just recently quit napping in the morning. So....we have been trying out sit-down school in the afternoons. I'm all about whatever works for the family is what you should do.

I find my children gravitate to open ended toys--things that can be used to *be* anything. Examples of excellent open ended toys are blocks, legos, tinker toys, play cloths, and playmobil. Two Christmases ago I made a set of playsilks. I ordered large blank white silk squares very cheaply from Dharma trading Company and then dyed them using Wilton cake food colors. My hands were red for a few days after, lol, but those silks have been played with more than any other toy. They have been turned into Indian saris, belts to hold weapons (who do you think does this?), pirate head wraps, baby blankets, pretend casts, and on and on.

Recently, we received a gift card to a fantastic educational store in Memphis called The Knowledge Tree. Dori and I went to check things out and we were both floored with everything this store offers. I think it is primarily for teachers, but since I teach my kids, I found everything so useful and wonderful. It was so hard to select gifts for the kids. We must've stayed in the store close to two hours! But finally we were able to narrow it down and I think we chose some pretty awesome stuff.

Here is a set of pictures of the kids playing with Micah's present from The Knowledge Tree. These are called "Cherry Tree Blocks" and were actually on Micah's Christmas list this year, but they didn't make the cut. Dori and I both squealed when we saw them and so that choice was very easy. Jason's Dad, aka Grandpops, happened to be over for a visit when I returned from the shopping trip, so he helped construct this awesome tree house/fort:

I thought it turned out pretty cool! Micah said it was a fort and used some of his playmobil "guys" as warriors.

Here the red guy is holding up the poor princess. We're still working on the rules of war. Like no holding up the womenfolk.

In this picture you can see how all three kids got into fort building. It didn't take long after Micah's tree house was built for James and Dori to follow suit with the other blocks we have to create their own fortresses.

This isn't really related to my post, but it is Judson's present from The Knowledge Tree. It is sort of like a geometric toy. It changes from triangle to 3d cube. Cool!

Judson likes it!

This is a picture of James on another day playing with his trains. I forgot to mention those in the list of excellent open ended toys, but they should definitely be there. We bought this set second hand last Christmas for very little.

In addition to playtime being important in our house, so also is seasonal decorating. This is something I have eased into, once I realized that celebrating holidays and decorating and all that are a big part of regular schooling. I am slowly accumulating items to use to give our home a little flair just like regular school classrooms enjoy. Here is a picture of some Valentine's decorations. We are also working on a project this week to make various shades of pink and red paper chains to go along with the Vday theme. Fun!

And finally, I'll close with a picture of Dori, Judson, and Micah. One night a few weeks ago I walked by Micah's room and as usual, Dori was hanging out there before bed. The kids are given reading time with lights on before bed most nights. I was carrying Judson to his bed, but stopped in to say goodnight to D and M and Judson was insistent to get in bed with them! I let him and went to the kitchen to finish tidying up. When I came back, all three were "reading" books and I ran to get my camera. It was so sweet. However, once I made it back, Judson was too interested in the camera and so this picture was the result:

The next post will be all about reading. Stay tuned...

Series of Posts on Home Schooling

I thought it would be neat to blog about the part of my (our) life that contains home schooling. I have a lot of thoughts on this, but also wanted to create some picture heavy posts on what our home schooling day actually looks like, too.

For starters, a little background is needed. I was public schooled for elementary, junior, and senior high. Jason was public schooled for elementary, junior, and senior high. There are many positive things I could say about my public school experience, and also many negatives. But this is not meant to be an opinion post on different schooling choices, so I'll just leave it at that, so you will know where I'm coming from. I had a desire to home school starting as early as Dori's birth, but I really don't know why I thought about it or wanted to do it. Perhaps at its most basic, it was a desire to keep my children with me....maybe a purely selfish thing. I don't really know, and at this point, not certain it is all that important. However, it must be noted here that my husband has always been Pro whatever makes his wife happy, so that is how he comes into the picture.

I started out very eagerly when Dori was in Kinder and Micah 4 years old. I was one big ball o' stress. I had no real plan and a hodge podge of materials either given to me from other home schoolers or acquired as leftovers from friends who had children in public or private school. We had just moved to RI and I was not recognizing the very real stress that a big move puts on a family. I did not feel confident, and feared daily that my children would grow up to be unintelligent dolts who forever blamed me for their shortcomings!

In one particular stressed and frantic weekend, I decided on a whim that putting Dori in public kinder would solve all my problems. I just knew that putting her in school would take the burden off of me for her education and that my life would suddenly smooth out into perfect little homemaker bliss. I was certain of this. As I said above, Jason is in the camp of "make wife happy" so he was ok, too. In a matter of days, Dori was signed up and starting. We met her teacher, a wonderful dear who to this day we speak of occasionally with love and admiration. We bought snacks and a lunch box. I read the paperwork. Excitement abounded! And then a whole 'nother can of worms was opened.

Hurry, brush your teeth. Dori, you forgot your backpack. MICAH GET UP WE HAVE TO TAKE DORI TO SCHOOL. Mom I don't have my book that I was supposed to bring today. Tears. Hurry up, we're going to be late. I don't want to do this homework. WAHHHHHH. Mom, if you pay $97 they will give you all these pictures of me on keychains. I need to wear pink today, mom. MICAH GET UP WE HAVE TO TAKE DORI TO SCHOOL. Mom, Mrs. X says we need to bring in $5 today for lunch. And on and on it went until she was finally done in June!

It didn't end all my problems. Yes, it solved some, but created others. The whole experience was quite useful, though, because I learned that I truly did desire to home school Dori. I realized that I was doing okay, after all, and that I was on the right track--I just needed a clear plan. I realized that problems come with any schooling choice and parents have to decide which option works best for them. Thankfully, I'm able to home school my kids (at least for now) and until it is no longer is the right choice for us...we'll continue.

Home schooling can be a touchy subject for some people. I don't think it has to be, though. It's just a schooling choice. An option. I know there are those out there that believe God wants them to home school (I'm not gonna argue with you), or those that think that home schooling is wrong (you have a right to your opinion). Our personal view is to let families make their own choices and leave it at that. I'm not threatened in any way when I find out friends have their kids in public or private school--they have their reasons which are personal and real. I certainly hope I don't threaten anybody when they find out we home school.



More to come soon......

Two perspectives

I'm up early this morning because I've had a fitful night of sleep. Sometimes you have those nights where the mind doesn't shut off. Last night I remembered something that happened a year and a half ago in Rhode Island that I thought was blog-worthy.

I was hugely pregnant with Judson, probably in the ninth month, when I came down with some sort of sickness. This required a trip to the doctor and subsequent trip to the pharmacy. It just so happened that I needed to take all 3 children with me to Wal-mart, and I remember thinking in the back of my mind that I bet I was a sight. You start to be a little self-conscience of these things when you get to kid #3--much more so with kid #4!

I walked, or rather, waddled over to the Pharmacy and stood in line. James was sitting in the front part of the cart and Micah and Dori were holding on to the right side and standing there quietly. I remember being very proud of them because no one was asking me for anything and they were all being still.

I handed my script to the lady and went to take a seat and wait. A few moments later, out walks a woman I would guess in her 60s with yellow-blonde hair. She asked me a question about the script, which I answered and then I think it dawned on her that I was hugely pregnant and shopping at Wal-mart with my 3 other children. The look on her face told me she was about to say *something*. And she did:

"Are all these yours???"
I smiled.
"Yes. They are all mine."

"WHYYYYY?????"

I think the people in the very back restroom probably heard her! She was so serious and apparently really wanted to know why, because she stood there for another 30 seconds more staring me down, waiting for her answer. Now, some days, that type of intrusive and rude question would be met with a quick, curt answer or maybe no answer at all. But for some reason, that particular day, I was so overjoyed and happy to be with my children and excited about the looming new critter coming....well, I just smiled back at her and said simply, "we kinda like kids."

She left us shaking her head back and forth the whole way. I browsed the vitamin row while we waited for the prescription to be filled and almost giggled at how angry the sight of my big ole pregnant self and three small children had made a perfect stranger. It really was funny! About that time, I noticed a man in his 70s sitting on the bench watching us. I thought, "oh no! Here we go again." But then I saw that he was smiling at us. His wife was next to him and I heard them talking and I knew they were talking about us. I kept looking at the vitamins and talking quietly to the kids, telling them how much I love them and keeping James from grabbing the kiddie vitamins. I didn't want my poor children to believe that it was somehow bad that they were born, you know. And then this kind gentleman actually called me over to him.

I rolled the cart next to the bench preparing myself for another chastisement, but I was met, instead, by the most wonderful words:

"Ms...You have a beautiful family here. Your children are so sweet and they all look like each other."
He turned to his wife and said, "Honey, look how wonderful they all are. And look, she's got another one coming."

Oh, how I could have kissed this sweet gentleman and his lovely wife! What joy they brought me be commenting on my family. What a blessing they were to my children after hearing such ugly remarks! I told this man that his words had made my day.

Remembering them now has given me joy once again.

Grown-up Booklist and Reviews

Books I've read recently and what I think of them:

1. The Wednesday Letters by Jason F. Wright. I would classify this book as light reading, although it touches on heavy issues at times throughout. It is a fictional account of the journey a family takes when they discover, after both parents die, hundreds of letters their father had written to their mother each Wednesday. I don't usually read books like this, but found that I had a hard time putting it down. At times it is a bit unbelievable, but if you let yourself simply enjoy the emotions it brings, you will be better for reading it. I give it a thumbs up!

2. It's Here.....Somewhere by Alice Fulton and Pauline Hatch. Excellent. This is a book filled with practical tips and solutions for those who want to get out from under the weight (sometimes literally!) of clutter. The authors' mantra is to streamline possessions first, then organize whatever is left. I've read a lot, I mean A LOT of organizational type books in my life. This one is by far the most practical and helpful, in my opinion. I am not a born organized type, so I need practical, easy to use advice. I also really like how the authors think outside the box and give suggestions for home organization that challenge the way we've always thought things are supposed to be done. It's Here....Somewhere is creative, helpful, and easy to read. Two thumbs up.

3. The Children's Year by Stephanie Cooper, Christine Fynes-Clinton and Marye Rowling. This wonderful book is completely packed with seasonal crafts and projects for both children and families. It is *not* your typical craft book, however, and offers everything from old fashioned toy-making ideas (Jacob's Ladder, wooden baby rattles, rag dolls) to handmade quality clothing items (knitted baby bonnets, smocks, and mittens). There is so much I could say about The Children's Year! The authors have gone to great lengths to provide projects that enlist the help of young children and at the same time produce items that are both beautiful and many times functional. Some of my favorite ideas and projects we are attempting:

"The Plank"--simply buy a long board (they provide dimensions) and sand and oil to death to make an open ended plaything for outdoors. Could be a see-saw, could be a bridge, or whatever children decide.

"Magic Ball of Wool"--wrap small objects (charms, candy, stickers, etc) with knitting yarn so that as a child knits, the objects are revealed. I actually think this idea comes from the Victorian days, but it is such a cute fun way to encourage knitting. Dori has started to knit, so I'm thinking this would be a great Christmas present next year.

"Tissue Paper Stars"--These are colorful, folded just so stars that are meant to be hung in windows to brighten a room. I have some kite paper just waiting for the right rainy day. :)

"Card Stands"--Small pieces of wood with slits cut into them for standing up and displaying a special card. I just loved this idea and Pappaw was so kind to find some scrap wood pieces for us and even sawed the slits in. This will be a wonderful project for Micah, who needs hands-on activity as much as I can provide. It will be simple enough (sanding and oiling) to complete several at a time and feel a sense of accomplishment.

As you can tell, I really enjoyed reading this book! The authors' sparked my creative side and have a knack for using items already found in nature to create lovely items that everyone in the family can enjoy.

Books I have started, but not finished:

1. Don't Be a Slave to Housework by Pam McClellan. I'm finding it difficult to finish this book, even though I'm almost there! Perhaps the other clutter book was just so good, this one didn't appeal as much. This book is all about how you can have a wonderfully clean home and have a life, too. There are, of course, many tips and a breakdown of personality types and reasons why people do what they do (perfectionist, procrastinator, housework hater). I have found this book a little bland, but useful, nonetheless.

2. The Reason for God Belief in an Age of Skepticism by Timothy Keller. Interesting. This book Jason and I started over the holidays. So far, I like it. Keller deals with tough questions presented by modern day skeptics by answering arguments in a methodical, thoughtful manner. His writing style is clear, but not dumbed down. We are really enjoying this book and I look forward to reading the rest of it. Very insightful.

3. Dare to Discipline by James Dobson. Okay, I know I'm way behind the times on this one, but honestly I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I know folks who both love and well....let's say severely dislike, Dobson. I don't know what camp I'm in, but will admit he has annoyed me many times. My honest impression so far, is that he has some good ideas--nothing revolutionary or earth shattering--but good solid principles, that he presents as part of his case for disciplining children. He promotes both spanking and some other strange neck squeeze thing. Uh...not totally clear on that, but I think I'll stick with spanking if and when needed. I find Dobson to be wordy (I know, I know....I'm the wordiest of them all!) at times and catch myself skimming to the next big point. This might be the only way I've read the book to this point. Sometimes he wears out the psychological side a too much for my taste, but so far, I'd have to say this is a useful book. He supports unconditional parental love and affection and also supports firm, clear boundaries for children. I will most likely finish the book, but I suspect it will take me some time, as it just doesn't draw me in. I think there are plenty of better parenting books out there for the Christian parent, but it seems to be a solid, if basic, book. Hey, it beats out some of the shall-remain-nameless quacks out there writing that their brand of parenting is God's way.

Checked out and waiting to be read:

1. Screamfree Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel. I picked up this book because I unfortunately raise my voice too much and too often with my children. About two years ago I made a New Year's Resolution to never yell at my kids. Well, of course, I haven't kept that resolution 100%, but I was able to cut down dramatically on yelling in times of stress or in the midst of crazy kid situations. I noticed this book on the shelf and it look interesting and I am constantly praying about the way I respond to my kids so....I'm excited to find out what's in this book. I just looked at the back cover and realized that it appears to be written from a scriptural perspective. Yay. Even better! I'm looking forward to reading this and hopefully identifying ways to respond calmly and correctly to my children.

2. Parents and Children The role of the parent in the education of the child by Charlotte Mason. I have been interested in Charlotte Mason for a while but have yet only read about her. I picked up this book so I could say I read it straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak. Charlotte Mason (1842-1923) had a lot of interesting ideas about children and education and is regularly quoted by home schoolers. Here is what is listed on the back of this book: "Charlotte Mason on leading a child to abundant life: The child brings with him into the world, not character, but disposition. His character...is original disposition, modified, directed, expanded by education; by circumstances; later, by self-control and self-culture; above all, by the supreme agency of the Holy Ghost. Charlotte Mason was 100 years ahead of her time in developing an educational philosophy that stressed bringing broad and stimulating education to a child in a noncompetitive, biblically based way. Mason's timeless, practical insights and her stress on the responsibility of the home have made her a founding influence in the home schooling movement." Hmmm. Should be an interesting and I bet tiring read. :)

3. Protecting the Gift Keeping children and teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) by Gavin De Becker. I do not really know much about this book other than the title. I heard it recommend once a long time ago and noticed it on the bookshelf at the library. My guess is that it will be useful, but might also have the possibility to scare the ever-living daylights outta me.

A day in the life....

Sometimes I think about my life and wish certain things were different (don't we all?). Then other times, I breathe in deeply and thank God for His perfect provision for me. I may not be the most organized person. I may not have it all together. But I really, really like my life and I'm thankful to God for each new day I'm given.

I like Jason's work schedule. It's a bit odd, but then, we've always had a nontraditional family schedule and work schedule. He works Mondays, Wednesdays, and every so often Fridays from 8ish to 5ish. On Tuesdays and Thursdays he goes in around 11 and comes home anywhere from 8 to 9pm. I enjoy that those days are more relaxed for us as a family and since I home school, the kids are here and get to spend time with Dad. As some of you know, I'm not a morning person. It has been a struggle for as long as I can remember to get up early. I'm thankful for God's provision for me in giving me a husband who enjoys getting up early. And I really, really love how we can have a slow start to our mornings on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Today Judson woke up first (as he usually does) and Jason brought him into our nice warm bed to snuggle a bit before really getting up. Jason and Judson have a neat relationship! Judson is *many* times going to his dad for comfort over me. This is new for us, but I think it is sweet that they are tight, lol. I just love Judson and his snuggling ways.

Judson dozed off and on for about an hour and then Jason got up and carried him into the kitchen for breakfast. I got to snooze a little longer. See how my husband is so gracious and kind to me????:)

About that time, James came in to snuggle with me (as he usually does). I turned on the tv so he could watch a little bit of cartoons. Eventually he left the warmth of the bed for more interesting adventures like finding his bullet and getting his gun set up. This is a daily ritual.

Dori came in not too long after, and reminded me via a message from Dad, that I had to go to Longview today to meet with my friend Debbie to learn all about how to set up a sound system. I pulled myself out of bed and tried to get ready as quickly as possible to meet Debbie.

I made a mental note that I am in bad need of major organization in the clothing department. We have too much and not a good system for the clothing we have. I got convicted that I need more organization and stewardship in this area. I prayed for God to help me have victory.

I did not eat breakfast but Jason made me a mug of coffee for the road. I said goodbye to everyone and quickly left for the 20 minute ride to Longview. On the way, I reflected that I have MANY areas in my life that need attention. I called Jason to tell him that I wished I was better at some of these things. I felt down and discouraged about it and convicted that I hadn't spent time in the Word this morning. He advised me to cling to Christ (great advice) and said he was right there with me. Thank you, Lord, for Jason and his wisdom. Thank you, Lord, for your grace and mercy.

I spent the next 2 hours walking around with Debbie (who seems unlimited in her skill and talent musically) learning how to set up and tear down a portable sound system and where certain cords go and how to make it all work. I am leading the worship for our Ladies Retreat the first weekend in February and thus, need to know exactly how to do this. I was thankful today, that I am still learning new things musically and that God is continuing to stretch me to be used of Him. I am really excited about the retreat and praying for Him to speak to both me and all our ladies attending.

Meanwhile, Jason spent those 2 hours hauling lots of wood. Micah assisted and they worked super hard to stock our supply. Dori looked after Judson and James played for the most part. Jason also instructed the children to clean their rooms, which they did.

I forgot to mention that Jason is off work today because he has the Friday rotation tomorrow.

Next, I drove home, thanking God for all the neat things I learned and praying about the retreat and which worship songs He would want me to pick. I called Jason to check in at the house. Everything had been going fine, except that Judson had refused to go down for a nap and was giving Jason a little bit of trouble. When I got home, I set out to get something to eat and learned that the kids had already eaten. Since we are completely out of groceries (!) I found some leftover quiche in the freezer. Not the healthiest, but it worked.

I cuddled Judson for a while after I ate and we played a bit together. Then I put him down for a much needed nap, which he resisted at first, but then quickly resolved himself to.

James wanted to cuddle some, too, so we did. Dori did a chore to earn 15 minutes of "screen" time and presently Jason and Micah are back outside working on the wood situation. I am writing this blog post...ha!

When Judson wakes, we are going to load up and go grocery shopping. Aldi's first, then probably walmart for the items Aldi's doesn't carry. On the list are tons of healthy veggies and other low fat food, a la 2009 being here and all. We plan to make a stop at the Salvation Army, since I haven't been in forever and have several things on my list that might be there. I am a thrift shop addict and try to go regularly when I can. I keep a running list of things we need or that I want and see what I find. I just love finding something that we need or want for a buck or less instead of paying costly retail prices.

After our excursion, I will unload all the groceries and put them away in our newly organized kitchen. I'll begin cooking dinner then, too, which is Hamburger casserole. I might make Dori and Micah do a few lessons each for school at the bar while I cook, although we usually do not do school on J's day off. But we are a bit behind from the holidays, so....

The children will be required to pick up the family room before dinner and Jason will likely help with that or move some boxes that I've asked him about recently.

We will eat dinner and then all help with kitchen cleanup. J will load the dishwasher; I will bring things to the sink and clear the table; Dori will sweep; Micah will wipe the table, and James will throw away any trash. Judson will stay in his highchair until the sink is clear and will most likely get a sink bath.

The kids will then start the before bed routine which involves putting pjs on, brushing teeth, washing hands and face, tidying rooms, and getting that last sip of water. Dori and Micah will read until lights out at 8:30. James will lie quietly--probably with his gun. Judson will babble in his crib and then fall asleep. As for me and Jason.....we will most likely relax together watching a little tv or I might surf the net or we might read together. Just depends. He will want to go to bed early, since he has to be up early for work. I will probably talk his ear off about the kids or the day or learning all about sound systems until I notice that he is mysteriously quiet and not responding to me. I will read once I discover that he is asleep and when me eyes start to droop, I'll put the book away, turn out the light, and go to dreamland with the rest of the family.

The above is a day in the life of the Hardage's. It is transparent and real. Not perfect or even close, but filled with God's grace. I'm so thankful for my life and family and so thankful that God continues to change us with each new day.

Essay on Giving

I've been pondering giving a lot through the Christmas season and especially now that Christmas is over. I wanted to blog about this to get my thoughts out of my head and written down--helps to solidify what one is thinking. I'm a transparent person, so I'm going to share with you something that I've dealt with heavily this Christmas: a bad attitude. Now, I know I'm not alone and I know that millions of people become Scrooge's at Christmas. Interesting, isn't it, that the holidays--a time of supposed peace and goodwill toward others--turns into an ugly, grumpy, and awful time for some. I'm not naming names, but I know some folks who would rather be hung upside-down by their toe nails, than get into the "Christmas spirit."

Why is this?

Like I said, I even faced some Bah humbug type attitudes myself, this Christmas, and I am usually so excited and thrilled with the holiday time. I think part of it is people get sick of the consumerism that is so rampant in our culture. *Buy* this, you *need* that, I *want* this, my kids *must* have that. Yeah, that can really rub folks the wrong way. Then again, no one is putting a gun to anyone's head making you spend X amount of money or buy a million useless things.

But if I'm honest, some negative attitudes creeped into my thought life this Christmas. I hate to admit it, but I even resented some of the present buying I had to do. <-----If you look carefully in that last sentence, you will see what I have now identified as the crux of the whole problem. No, it's not the resented part. Look closer. It's the tail end of the sentence....the "I had to do" part. That pesky little obligation bug can sneak in and rob one of all the Christmas joy they ever had. My husband is a very wise man. As I struggled and hemmed and hawed this Christmas he repeatedly and rightly told me that if I'm buying presents for someone or groups of someone's purely out of obligation, then it would be better for me not to buy anything at all. I fussed at him that he doesn't understand, he doesn't get it, he has an easy time saying that as he's not the designated one in the family to buy all these gifts. And yet, he is and was right. See, the thing is that one will never, ever, ever, ever be a good gift giver, and enjoy Christmas, until one truly cares and loves the giftee. I want to go into this deeper, so bear with me. Think back to when you were a kid. The particulars of how you celebrated Christmas (i.e. Santa/Santa is evil; opening gifts on Christmas Eve vs. Day; etc.) isn't important. Just think back to how awesome it was to open presents from loved ones....and to receive really awesome gifts. Maybe it was *just* what you wanted or a special thing someone made for you or maybe it was something that you totally never dreamed your parents could afford or would get you. How great was that? I know in my memories of Christmases past, I think back to waking up on Christmas morning with my brother Jason and seeing all the shiny new things laid out by my mom just so. I remember getting new clothes and girly things like jewelry and toys to play with that me and my brother just could not believe (like the nintendo way back when they first came out!). I remember saying over and over "thank you so much" to my parents and hugging their necks thinking how awesome it was that they loved us this much to give us all this awesome stuff. Now, right here, you may be tempted to go down that familiar path of stuff=excess/evil/too much/insert bad characteristic. Please don't do that yet...hear me out!

True, stuff doesn't equal love. True, kids can have wonderful Christmases without loads of "stuff." True, sometimes stuff gets in the way of the "true meaning of Christmas." But sometimes gifts are really a blessing. Sometimes all that stuff is a wonderful way to show someone you love them or care for them. Sometimes that someone may not even *gasp* deserve it (do any of us deserve anything?). What better way to follow Christ's example than to bestow on them something they don't deserve? I mean, isn't that the whole root reason we give gifts at Christmas time anyway?? To commemorate the ultimate gift of our Savior's incarnation on earth and ultimate redemption of man? Gifts are getting a bad rap (no pun intended) and unknowingly, I've been party to that, but no longer!

I'm know I'm getting long-winded here, but there is more. When Jason and I first got married, I was so against the typical American celebration of Christmas. Believe it or not, I even fought him over putting up a Christmas tree! I have since mellowed out quite a bit from those over-zealous days, thanks again to very wise counsel from my dear husband. ***disclaimer: if you convictionally do not put up a tree or celebrate Christmas in the way that most Americans do, that's your business and I do not sit in judgement.

Anyway, I had all these ideas about how to celebrate Christmas that I thought were super spiritual or right. And truth be told, it is still something we ponder as a family often. We were discussing this very thing with our friend Neal the other night...how does one celebrate and honor the birth of Christ and really let that take precedence and also balance the cultural norms of our day? It is difficult, no doubt about it, and Neal had some great ideas, such as serving, as a family, at a mission or giving some of our own treasured things to a family in need. He also mentioned the whole planning aspect of gift giving and how that really makes a difference in one's approach to celebrating Christmas. Ultimately, I think it all goes back to attitude. Which leads me back to me and my sour one during parts of this Christmas.

Thankfully, God began to speak to me regarding this issue, right before Christmas. He's still showing me stuff, and believe me, I'm ever grateful! The reason it was so wonderful to open those presents from loved ones? Because it was a gift given out of love. It all boils down to this: a person will never have true joy at Christmas time until he or she first has the joy that comes from knowing Christ and second has the joy in *giving* to others.

It is a selfless thing.

A selfish person will be angry the he has to dip into his savings to give obligatory gifts to his friends/family/coworkers or whatever. A selfish person will be resentful when she thinks of all the work she has to do to cook and clean for visitors coming in her home. A selfish person will think of every possible way to spend as absolutely little as possible for someone--not because he/she is frugal or struggling financially, but because he/she wants to keep more $$ for himself. Before you get all huffy about this point, let me clarify. I'm as big of a thrifter as Mrs. Tightwad Gazette herself, and there is nothing, I mean absolutely nothing wrong with homemade or baked gifts (I sure made a lot myself!), but if a person has plenty of money, but is simply stingy and selfish, then yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It all goes back to attitude. A gift can be homemade, free, cost little or cost a lot, but if the attitude is resentment, anger, or the ever present obligation....then that gift is in vain.

So God began to reveal to me that I had a self problem. It wasn't about the money, either, as about half our gifts were homemade and more in the "labor of love" category. I had a self problem that is only remedied by realizing that God freely gave to me--an undeserving, unworthy recipient--knowing that there is absolutely no possible way for me to EVER reciprocate. Which brings me to the next lesson on giving:

Reciprocation is not the example Christ set for us.

If one is giving a gift because he/she thinks someone will reciprocate in like fashion, then one is missing the mark. Christ coming to earth, Christ becoming sin and being punished for our salvation, can never, ever be reciprocated. If you somehow believe you can give enough back to God in thanksgiving or whatever, to somehow earn your salvation....well, email me. We have some talkin' to do. :) It's the same for gift giving. A gift given in expectation of a gift received will be given in vain and will not be joyfully given. This "reciprocation" idea robs people (myself at times included) of joy at Christmas.

So God is teaching me that instead of looking at my gift list with a selfish, obligatory, or reciprocal attitude, I should look at it as an awesome opportunity to bless those on it. My gifts could be free, homemade, cost a little or a lot. As long as I am giving them as a response to the ultimate example of Christ's love, and as an act of blessing these individuals, then I will have true JOY at Christmas time.

Thinking back to those gifts you have opened from a loved one....think about a person that you know that is just really good at getting gifts. Someone who always seems to get just what you wanted or something you could really use or something that just puts a smile on your face. I'm not talking about the person who throws a gift at you that is clearly a result of his/her "duty" and is so totally not something you could ever use or would ever want...I'm talking about the person who you know deep down has no thought of you even being able to "return the favor." The person who smiles from somewhere inside at the knowledge that you are loved and that they are happy to be blessing you. I used to think these people were somehow talented at gift giving and I was somehow lacking that talent. I used to say things like, "I'm just not good at gift giving" or "so and so is just such a good gift giver." And I used to think that simply having lots of money on hand made one a "good" gift giver . We know this isn't true as some of the stingiest folks are those with gobs of money. Ever seen the statistics on those who donate? Yeah, usually the lower economic class. Interesting, isn't it?

But I realized this Christmas that those people are not especially gifted (again no pun intended, hahaha) or talented or endowed some special "gift" ability. No, they just *get* gift giving. They are selfless people. They really love the folks they are giving to. They actually *think* about the person and spend time considering what that person might actually like or be blessed by receiving. I aspire to be like these wonderful, selfless people.

One final point to conclude this hugely long essay on giving, lol. How to respond to gifts given? Thinking again to the ultimate example of Christ, and knowing there is nothing we can do to reciprocate this precious gift, the best way to receive a gift--including our lives in Christ--is to relish in the pleasure of knowing Him, and likewise, simply enjoy the gift/s given by others. This has been a hard concept for me to grasp over the years that I've been married. See, many times I would be stressed when Aunt Linda would give us $100 for Christmas, or Uncle Joe that I didn't get any present for, would give our entire family really nice gifts. I would think "oh no, they got us a gift and I didn't do anything! What are they gonna think? Next year I'll get them a really nice gift." Etc., unto infinity. I would stress myself out thinking about these things and actually feel bad and miss the point completely that Aunt Linda or Uncle Joe were simply wanting to bless our family. The best way to love them and receive those gifts, was to enjoy them! And let them know just how much we enjoyed them. It's slowly starting to sink in. Now some folks do not give in the spirit of Aunt Linda and Uncle Joe, true, but you know what I mean.

In conclusion, I'm really, genuinely looking forward to next Christmas. I know it isn't even January yet, but I am! I'm excited to think about the people on my Christmas list and what would be a real blessing to them. I'm excited that God is teaching me more and more self sacrifice--something I'm sure I will be learning 'til the day I die. I'm excited that next Christmas I can put into real practice some of these lessons. I'm excited that instead of being a slave to a negative attitude, I've been freed by the ultimate sacrifice of God to have real JOY at Christmas and to experience the peace and goodwill toward others that Christmas represents.

Simply having a wonderful ChristmasTime

(I could not resist this Playmobil Nativity set on clearance at Target yesterday)

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas

This Christmas was different, no doubt about it....we had 75 degree weather on Christmas Day, a huge Christmas Eve family party, and not one but TWO Christmas trees. The kids have had a blast celebrating this holiday with cousins, grandparents, and Aunts and Uncles galore and so have we enjoyed actually having quite the selection of family parties and visits this December. But it has also been a bit sad for me. I miss the snow of the Northeast and the frigid temperatures (yes, even those). I miss sitting by the fire and drinking hot cocoa and trying to stay warm. But mostly, I miss my dear, dear friends from the past almost 8 years we spent living away from MS. There is nothing quite like having a white Christmas, or walking on 5th Avenue in Manhattan seeing all the lights and Christmas displays. I'll never forget freezing my tail off one particular crazy December, waiting for.ever in the freezing cold for the lighting of the Rockerfeller Christmas Tree. That's another post for another day. Heh. Anyhow, I guess Christmas reminds me most of all our dear friends that were like family in both NY and RI. I'm an emotional sort of gal, so just pardon me for waxing nostagic while I think of Christmases past.

Here's the Christmas tree in all it's glory:

The kids talked me into getting this ginormous tree based on the fact that our living room has cathedral ceilings and can fit a huge tree. Me being a complete and total sucker when it comes to the kids, of course, said yes. The very nice man at Lowes even tied this bad boy right to van--climbed up on top and everything. I tipped him well. See, Jason was working and would not have time to help us get the tree for several days and me and the children just couldn't wait.

I love decorating a Christmas tree. I mean, I LOVE it. When Jason and I first got married I thought that he would have as much love as I did in decorating the tree, but quickly discovered that while he enjoyed looking at the completed results, he really didn't get into it like I did. So that has been my job every year and with the addition of each child, it gets more and more fun! This year, Hayden came over and helped since this tree was especially large. As you can see, I don't have a "theme" tree or any special way to decorate it....it's way more fun to let the kids put the ornaments on and go for it! We were married 6 weeks before Christmas in 1999 and one sweet, dear lady from our church knew that we had zero Christmas ornaments and zero $$ for said Christmas ornaments, so she loaded us up with about 10 boxes of plain glass ball ornaments she had lying around. Do you know that those have become my favorite ornaments? We love to deck the tree with all the glass balls we can. Yes, we lose a few every year, but they are cheap enough to be easily replaced.

We also have a collection of German ornaments that have come from my brother David while he served in the military there over the past few years. These are also treasured and fun to see each year.

Another thing I love about our tree are the homemade paper cones with chocolates in them. As I said earlier, I have no rhyme or reason to tree decorating. I'm of a mind to hang everything you can on a tree. So one year ( I think 3 years ago) I got the idea to get pretty craft paper and make victorian-like paper cones with ribbon and fill with chocolate to hang on the tree. These cones have held up well and are so fun for the kids to see mysteriously filling through the holidays. I just love it! I have been known to save little tiny sheer present bags with drawstrings and hang those on the tree the next year with presents in them. Don't tell anybody how crazy I am! I guess I just love the fun of "finding" goodies in the tree.

I love the smell of Christmas greens. I have candles scented in these wonderful Christmas smells, but nothing really beats the true scent of a Christmas tree and greenery. I don't like the fake stuff, either. We tried an artificial tree for two years and it felt so...well, artificial. I know, I know....real trees are dangerous and definitely not cost effective, but I just. can't. help. it. I love a real tree. I love to make boughs and garland and wreaths out of real greenery. This year I discovered that Lowes and Home Depot collect the trimmings from trees they sell and "shape" and let you take them for free. Score! So I loaded up a van full twice to decorate the house. It was fun. I am by no means an expert at this, but there is something so nice about seeing your own handmade decorations hanging on doors and mantels, etc. It makes me think of the way things must've been done in olden times.

This is the "kid's Tree"--We hang out mostly in the den and sadly, the big tree was in the Living room. So.....not much time was spent enjoying the big tree. I decided late into the season that we needed a tree for the den and the kid's really wanted to decorate one all by themselves. Trees like this go on sale for $5 at walmart about a week before Christmas.

This is a picture of the children right before Christmas. I love my kids so much. There is just nothing that compares to being a mother and having these beautiful children in my life---I'm so incredibly blessed by them.

This next set of pictures is cousin Hayden and cookie baking night. We had a Blast! Hayden was lamenting the fact that flour kept getting all over his "good" shirt, so I found him a child's apron, which led to finding a child's play chef hat. He is quite the baker and rolled, cut, and loaded up cookie sheets faster than I could retrieve them from the oven. We turned up the Christmas music really loud and danced the whole way through, too. It was such a fun night!

So this next set of pictures is the Christmas Eve party, aka Kid Bash 08! I wish I had taken pictures of the total MOUNTAIN of presents, but I was busy in the kitchen. We had so much food, I'm sure 100 people could have eaten. Thanks to a kind family in our church, we had a wonderful honey baked ham that I didn't have to worry about cooking. It was delicious. We also had every sort of cheesy goodness casserole, rice casseroles, dips, spreads, you know....the same stuff you probable had. It was all so good and fun to be around Jason's family this Christmas. The tv vascilated between "A Christmas Story" and "It's A Wonderful Life," both my favorites.

I thought I lost Judder there for a moment in all the chaos of present opening. But we found him. Here he is on his new truck. The next picture is him playing with a top that was baby Reese's present. He's a present snatcher.






Mason playing with the playmobil

Emmy playing with Dori's dollhouse. I think she stayed in there most of the night. :)

Noah and Kelsey

Jason making Reese cry, lol.

Christmas morning came TOO early. Like 5:45am early. I am the one who usually sets everything up and fills stockings, so I waited patiently for the kids to fall asleep. This process took a lot longer than usual because the children were wired from our Christmas party. It took even longer, because Dori kept coughing and gagging and sputtering and so had to get up every 30 minutes to go to the bathroom. Let's just say it was a long night. I think she finally made it to bed and got to sleep around 1am. Whew. I won't say what time I finally hit the sack. Christmas morning they all piled in bed with us (except Judson) and were as excited as you can imagine.
I don't have many Christmas morning pictures, because the truth is I was so delirious and sleepy from the night before that I forgot to take much. I actually think these pictures were taken by Jason....I don't really remember, lol, such a haze.

This is Micah playing the new Wii. He fell on the floor in dramatic fashion when he realized we had gotten one for them. Papa Neal is to thank for that!

More weapons for James


James couldn't take anymore by about 4pm. So funny, he's cuddled up with his light saber.

I made these Native American dress up shirts. The kids wanted some they had seen in a catalogue so badly, but they were super expensive. I had so much fun making these and it was so easy. One pack of brown t shirts, a hot glue gun, some beads and ribbon and scissors was all it took and Micah wore his all day on Christmas. The boys both got bows and arrows and a quiver to go with these.

We had a good Christmas. Still enjoying the time together and looking forward to New Years festivities.